Search Quotes
#2912
55
⚐ ReportPham: I no tell you "you're great!", mom and dad tell you "you're great!" Whose parents tell them that? //Class replies with no's and yes's Pham: I take that back, some Asian parent like that.
#2910
77
⚐ Report(pretending to be a college) Teacher: I'll admit 1000 caucasians, five blacks, and...two...hispanics. Student: What about Asians? Teacher: Oh yes, Asians. I'll admit 2000 Asians.
#2909
66
⚐ Report//said very seriously, while passing out a quiz Moose: Don't cheat, or you'll burn in hell forever.
#2907
1414
⚐ Report*After establishing that Richard doesn't know what a larynx is...* Kaluta: Point to your vocal chords Richard: Uhhh I don't have any! Kaluta: Okay, then point to your brain. (Richard points to his brain) Kaluta: You don't have that either!
#2906
1618
⚐ ReportWhitacre: So come on guys, what's your best pickup line? Student: Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?
#2905
66
⚐ ReportRose: It's also called the Sandwich Theorem, because y'know, you've got g and h making a sandwich around f, like it's cheese or ham or whatever you want to put in there... Student: You should serve it with polynomial soup!
#2902
33
⚐ Report//Identifying key values in TV Studio - there is a news headline about Jersey Shore on the screen. Student: Um, that would be 'prominence' because it's Snooki and she's famous? Taylor: No! Wait, what's a Snooki?
#2901
1515
⚐ Report//During CAP NSL Someone's phone: PLEASE SAY A COMMAND. Freeman: ...Someone's stomach is very outspoken today. *resumes teaching*
#2900
66
⚐ ReportTaylor: So, who knows how to play Apples to Apples? Student: Ooh! That's the one where you like turn over a card and it's a cat, then another one's an apple... *Class bursts out laughing* Taylor: ...no honey, that's matching.
#2899
1616
⚐ ReportRichard: My schedule form is messy. Counselor: Would you like another one? Richard: YEA BOII--I mean, yes ma'am.