#11076

1414

Oct. 31, 2022, 8:05 a.m.

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//second period is beginning PA: *plays evil male laugh* Sean: The sound of Mr. Schwartz collecing Analysis 2 exams.

#11058

911

Oct. 27, 2022, 2:36 p.m.

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Schwartz: Today is a day of no fun at all. Schwartz: We will not be having any fun today!

#11026

68

Oct. 21, 2022, 1:53 p.m.

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Andy: The Geneva convention is like "don't throw your prisoners of war into a meat grinder". Jerry Song: If "prisoners of war" means analysis homework, then yeah I do that.

#11017

1818

Oct. 20, 2022, 1:25 p.m.

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Evan Wang: Can I have my exam back? Schwartz: Which one? Evan: Anal 2. *Entire room goes silent* Evan: I mean analysis 2. // Later Schwartz: MCPS abbreviates classes by using the first 4 letters. Schwartz: You're one of the few with the chutzpah to call it by that.

#10993

77

Oct. 14, 2022, 10:11 p.m.

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Schwartz: We have two and a half minutes left, let's start 16.2!

#10991

66

Oct. 14, 2022, 10:09 p.m.

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// Analysis 2, Schwartz drew a map of the US and labeled it with isotherms Schwartz: *draws an isotherm at the bottom of Florida, labels it 1000 degrees* Schwartz: And Florida is 1000 degrees, because I assume that's how Florida works.

#10878

66

Sept. 23, 2022, 2:45 p.m.

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Michael Wang: Why are you allowed to square it? Schwartz: Why not? I’m allowed to do whatever I want.

#10842

99

Sept. 19, 2022, 5:30 p.m.

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Schwartz: I asked some students to figure out why [a method of deriving the equation of a plane] works and tell me. Which they did. It was great. Schwartz: They explained it in 3-4 different ways, including one of them who described it with Hilbert's Nullstellensatz. Which is ridiculous. Schwartz: I'm not going to explain it that way, because I don't understand it myself without looking up the details of the Nullstellensatz.

#10841

66

Sept. 19, 2022, 3:12 p.m.

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Schwartz: So now we have, fool's gold, gold, and hkeelhaul!

#10840

1313

Sept. 19, 2022, 2:48 p.m.

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//chaotic schwartz anthology, september 19 "It be the Day of Talkin' Like a Pirate!" "The best years be the years when Back to School Night be fallin' on Talk Like a Pirate Day, and your parents'll be much amused by the talkin' o' yer cap'n." "I don't know why Shakespeare gets into my Pirate." "Which we recognise as a symbol on our map! Whether it be MA or T(A), it point to the same treasure!" "I see some disagreement! I see some mutiny among the crew!" "We are pirates, and we care not about upstanding, positive values of k! For if k lies below the waves, it be breakin' our rules." "But I recall, from my youth, as a mere cabin-boy, that this y = mx + b, adding a constant, be a linear function!" "And here we see the true grain of the wood beneath us, and not the grime which covers it!" "As I aim the cannons everywhere I can aim them, I can hit every part of the ship we be aimin' to hit. Nothing is out of the range of my cannons." "You will find [your homework] in a folder the color of the sky and sea in the aft of the ship!" "Any questions about the running and management of the vessel?" "What kind of pirates ye be, taking on extra work ye ought not to do?" "That be work for landlubbers, not for honest pirates like you!" "One could be drawing the timbers that form the hull of our vessel!" "We see that z could be above the waves or down in the depths with Davy Jones!" "This is really an exercise in not talking myself in a corner."