#2868

55

Feb. 2, 2011, 9:24 p.m.

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//student asks why human lungs intake oxygen and let out carbon dioxide when Shirley walks in Pham: ...do you understand why you pull bag over head you die now? Shirley: (bewildered) ...??

#2716

3341

Dec. 22, 2010, 6:46 p.m.

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Senior: You know what class Shirley should take next semester? Maureen Bio.

#2681

99

Dec. 15, 2010, 5:43 p.m.

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Shirley: I've never wanted to do this before in my life -- and I know this sounds bad out of context -- but I really want to suck on this thing!

#2655

46

Dec. 9, 2010, 2:55 p.m.

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// While doing Sporcle Shirley: Oral contraceptive Student: CONDOMS! *Everyone laughs* Student: What's so funny? What did you say? Shirley: ORAL contraceptive Student: Yeah, so why are you guys laughing?

#2493

66

Nov. 7, 2010, 2:55 p.m.

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//eating brownies in anal chem Shirley: Hey Emily, need some help? (moves to take brownie) MLE: NOOOO Andrea: Hey, want another brownie? Pham: Noo, do not give to him or else he start to run around!

#2487

1111

Nov. 5, 2010, 8:22 p.m.

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//Shirley returns after running away with a blowtorch Pham: Where the blowtorch? You realize it, if you run around the school with a blowtorch, you get suspended! Piper: So, if I wanted to get rid of someone...

#2485

99

Nov. 5, 2010, 5:35 p.m.

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Pham: Where is Shirley? He got my blowtorch and he ran away!

#2431

6668

Oct. 28, 2010, 7:12 p.m.

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Pham: If you go to Mexico, drink water, you get diarrhea instantly. Shirley: Instantly?! Minas: Plus or minus thirty minutes.

#2384

2830

Oct. 20, 2010, 5:48 p.m.

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Shirley: Impress all your friends! Instead of saying "Is today even or odd?" say "What is the parity of today?"

#2216

210

Sept. 28, 2010, 4:10 p.m.

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//Shirley writes 'lolololololololol' on one of the students' papers Student: Why did Shirley just do that? Other Student: HE DID IT FOR THE LULZ