Top Quotes
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#3961 Up ↑ /215 Down ↓ [Report ] 2012-02-14 23:17 EST
//Duval's killing time until everyone's real SRP interview partners come back, so Eva and Sam Zbarsky are doing a mock interview for an internship.
Eva(interviewer): Hey sweetie, so tell me a little about yourself.
Sam: Um, I'm a junior...at Montgomery Blair high school.
Eva: High school? That's hot.
Sam: Err...I'd like to work under you.
Eva: Oh is that what you're into?
Sam: ...
//Duval facepalms
Eva: So what *positions* would you be interested in? *raises eyebrows*
Sam: ...
Duval: It's okay to run away screaming at this point.
//Sam runs away screaming
Duval: So that was a lovely example of what kind of interview to NEVER HAVE. -
#4505 Up ↑ /44 Down ↓ [Report ] 2013-04-11 21:19 EST
//Teacher is guarding door at lunch to make sure people have to go around to the SAC.
//Neil sneaks over to open door and Teacher sees him as he is sneaking away.
Teacher: Hey! I'm going to refer you to your administrator! What's your name?
Neil: Jay Gatsby.
Teacher:I'm gonna look you up!
//Teacher storms off -
#3952 Up ↑ /41 Down ↓ [Report ] 2012-02-12 20:18 EST
//Beginning of Genetics, talking about the uses of the subject
Richard (Whispers): Wait, Viju, what was that science about family trees again?
Viju (whispers back): Gynecology
Bosse: Any other occupations using genetics?
Richard: GYNECOLOGY!
//Bosse facepalms. -
#1538 Up ↑ /39 Down ↓ [Report ] 2010-02-24 15:47 EST
Mr. Schafer: As a kid my father asked me why it was that when my hands are cold and I blow on them, they get warm, but when my soup is hot and I blow on it it gets cooler. That question bothered me for a long time. In the end I concluded that I had magic powers.
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#3329 Up ↑ /147 Down ↓ [Report ] 2011-05-08 17:19 EST
//at National Science Bowl, all teams are sitting in an assembly. Blair is in the front row. Pham is sitting with his laptop.
Dude from adjacent team: Hey, could you guys move over one seat?
Blair students: Okay, sure.
Pham (without looking up): Ten dolla.
Dude from adjacent team: ???
Pham (still not looking up): You pay ten dolla and then we move!
//Blair students rearrange without Pham's participation
//later
Competition person: Thank your coaches for their hard work, dedication, and attention!
//Pham rotates his laptop to show Blair kids that he's been playing minesweeper, grins, and continues his game -
#3896 Up ↑ /71 Down ↓ [Report ] 2012-01-17 09:05 EST
//At science bowl. Pham was wandering between the 3 teams, so he wasn't in the room
Judge: Now, I'd like the coaches to introduce themselves.
Alan: Our coach is not with us.
//awkward pause
Alan: No, he's alive. He's still alive. He's just not here.
