//Sally to class late from the Guys and Dolls teaser
Roth: What are you?
Sally: A stripper
Roth: Now I'm going to see the show!
//addressing himself when confronted with an integral with two terms
Roth: Mr. Roth, you said these were "baby" integrals, not "babies" integrals!
Ellen: Integrals are not possessed by the babies.
Roth: Give me three positive numbers that are getting bigger.
Tony: Negative 10, negative 9, negative 8.
Roth: How'd you know that?
Tony: I studied this weekend.
Class: No you didn't!
Roth: Tony, you're a liar but you're a good man.
Roth to Student: This is making me very mad that you don't remember the power rule! (to Rachel) This reminds me of what?
Rachel: The time you had to kill someone?
Roth: Yes! Why? Because they didn't remember their multiplication tables.
Rachel: Can I go to the bathroom?
Roth: I know you can, I've seen you do it.
Roth: I have to sneeze.
//Goes in the hall and sneezes very loudly
Roth: I'm derivative. I mean, I'm delirious. I mean, I'm allergic to derivatives.
Roth: A student said on a test "I don't know the answer to lim(1/x^2) as x increases without bound. We only did 1/x in class." Then what did I do?
Roth: (Makes a gun gesture) Bam!
Roth: My son knew the answer to that in 5th grade.
Anne: Your son is smart.
Roth: Used to be.