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May 2, 2011, 9:15 p.m.

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//Sally to class late from the Guys and Dolls teaser Roth: What are you? Sally: A stripper Roth: Now I'm going to see the show!



Jan. 24, 2011, 10:54 a.m.

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//addressing himself when confronted with an integral with two terms Roth: Mr. Roth, you said these were "baby" integrals, not "babies" integrals! Ellen: Integrals are not possessed by the babies.



Dec. 1, 2010, 4:05 p.m.

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Roth: Give me three positive numbers that are getting bigger. Tony: Negative 10, negative 9, negative 8.



Nov. 9, 2010, 4:04 p.m.

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Roth: How'd you know that? Tony: I studied this weekend. Class: No you didn't! Roth: Tony, you're a liar but you're a good man.



Nov. 9, 2010, 4:03 p.m.

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Roth to Student: This is making me very mad that you don't remember the power rule! (to Rachel) This reminds me of what? Rachel: The time you had to kill someone? Roth: Yes! Why? Because they didn't remember their multiplication tables.



Oct. 19, 2010, 3:36 p.m.

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Rachel: Can I go to the bathroom? Roth: I know you can, I've seen you do it.



Oct. 19, 2010, 3:35 p.m.

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Roth: I have to sneeze. //Goes in the hall and sneezes very loudly Roth: I'm derivative. I mean, I'm delirious. I mean, I'm allergic to derivatives.



Sept. 21, 2010, 4:56 p.m.

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Roth: A student said on a test "I don't know the answer to lim(1/x^2) as x increases without bound. We only did 1/x in class." Then what did I do? Class: What? Roth: (Makes a gun gesture) Bam!



Sept. 21, 2010, 4:26 p.m.

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Roth: My son knew the answer to that in 5th grade. Anne: Your son is smart. Roth: Used to be.