#4150

111

May 22, 2012, 2:41 p.m.

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//There is a Doctor Coleman political campaign for PuzzlePalooza Paul B. Ellis: Look, its Hermain Cain...no wait, it's Dr. Coleman!

#12335

1212

Oct. 17, 2023, 3:16 p.m.

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Mitchum, Jonathan A (Student): 1. Dual federalism was an era of federalism where the lines of the power of the federal and state governments were broadly defined. Hua, Ethan Y (Student): Hey, those lines of power aren't broad, they're just horizontally gifted. Jonathan: Hey bud, you are just salty because you are vertically challenged. Ethan: Hey, pal, you must have the height of a saltine cracker, and the intelligence of one too. Jonathan: Hey sport, you are shorter that a brick, wider than a brick, dumber than a brick, soft as a brick, red as a brick, hairless as a brick, weak as a brick, and slower than a brick. Ethan: Hey, tank, projecting much? (megamind with hair, bottom text says "no hair?") Jonathan: You are so unpopular, I bet you work at College Board. Ethan: Hey, broski, show me your friends. I've got plenty. (megamind with no hair, top text says "no friends?")

#10873

1010

Sept. 23, 2022, 10:01 a.m.

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Hammond: je n'attraperai pas de frisbees dans ma bouche. Hammond: It's in a french phrase book for cats. Hammond: It's in there with "I will come when called" and "I will not eat what I'm not supposed to."

#6589

99

Sept. 13, 2017, 7:51 p.m.

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Math Team first meeting: Guang: So what is the best way to divide five muffins amongst three people? Student 1: Give me three, and the other two one. Student 2: Evenly. Student 3: Just buy a sixth muffin. Alan: Muffins never come in five packs anyways.

#13005

99

Feb. 8, 2024, 10:38 a.m.

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Jorgensen: So the user action is to pick up flashlight. What is the product function? Class: It get's picked up. Jorgensen: Wanna know how to say that in the engineering way? Jorgensen: accepts hand. Jeffery Ji: In marriage? Jorgensen: Sure, if you want to marry a flashlight. Jorgensen: I don't think that's legal though.

#4344

44

Dec. 10, 2012, 9:55 p.m.

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//Reading Hamlet Stelzner: So, see, Claudius knows that Laertes is the people's man. He's who they want to be king. Get it? Class: (uncertain) Stelzner: Come on, okay. He's the guy who goes around partying in France and killing people with his sword and staying in whorehouses. HE IS THE 99%.

#4145

1618

May 18, 2012, 10:03 p.m.

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//Some guy comes into Cell Phys delivering candygram-esque "kisses" Student: Is Pulkit here? I have a kiss to deliver. Bosse: No, sorry, he's waiting outside. //Student leaves Bosse: Aww, I wish I could have seen him get the kiss. Student 2: You realize that it's not a real kiss, right? Bosse: Oh really? You don't kiss them on the cheek or something? Well that's dissapointing. Raphael: Ms. Bosse...did you really want to see two guys kissing? Bosse: Well, it would have been interesting...

#11276

39

Dec. 6, 2022, 1:51 p.m.

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Sean: My last two braincells: One is going "Why you no doctor?" and the other is singing "Never gonna give you up".

#1026

33

Dec. 3, 2009, 2:45 p.m.

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Whitacre: It's the woman's fault. We can stop there. The course is over. Thank you. //starts walking towards the door

#3333

1414

May 9, 2011, 5:19 p.m.

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Rose: These are just the basic things you should've learned in, like, common sense grade.