#5424

2626

March 19, 2015, 2:36 p.m.

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Klein: And on Valentine's day, we give each other mutilated plant genitals and go "Hey, put this in a vase and watch them wither away and die," because that's what love is!

#13634

1820

Sept. 19, 2025, 7:56 a.m.

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Rose: If yoy give real compasses to 8th graders, they will literally kill each other by stabbing each other with sharp pointy things.

#9063

1111

March 19, 2021, 12:12 p.m.

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// explaining the reasons behind an assignment/project Street: Well, we don't like you, and we would like to make you miserable. Street: That's reason number one.

#3534

1315

Sept. 9, 2011, 8:11 p.m.

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// Stein walks into Functions Stein: My car smells like squid!

#13639

2428

Sept. 22, 2025, 11:20 a.m.

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//Chaotic Rose Anthology 19.09.2025 "When the teacher starts talking before the bell rings, that's how you know things are serious." "I'm just going to keep using violence because it's fun." "I have a plan and the plan will succeed because I say so." "Usually I lose battles with my students." "It's like I have two Rakshays, which is one too many at least." "Before my wife and I got married, she wanted to have a Christmas tree, but I'm Jewish, so I don't do that. The compromise we came to is that she could have her Christmas tree and I'd get a Satan statue for balance, but all the Satan statues are ugly and I don't want them in my house, so I got an Aristotle statue instead."

#11554

1616

Feb. 10, 2023, 2:37 p.m.

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Karen: Where's Nathan Gehl? Karen: He's my favorite person in this class.

#9554

2828

Dec. 8, 2021, 11:31 a.m.

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Gabaree: I had a kid a few years ago who was very conservative, and he looked up his mom and she'd donated some money to a bunch of liberal campaigns. He spent the rest of the period seething over that.

#1419

1313

Jan. 29, 2010, 4:45 p.m.

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Kathryn: we need to get more balls to kick and suck!

#6012

1414

Aug. 30, 2016, 6:57 p.m.

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//1st day of Period 4 AP NSL with Gabaree Gabaree: So did anything exciting happen to any of you over the summer? //Daniel Schaffer's hand shoots up. Gabaree: Yes? /Daniel mutters something quietly. Gabaree: What's that? Daniel (yelling): My pigeon laid eggs! Gabaree: ...

#10426

99

April 6, 2022, 5:46 p.m.

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Schwartz: Notice that I chose to talk about the Basic Comparison Test, because it means I get to say "Basic" a lot. Schwartz: Which will discourage the heathens here from calling it the "Direct Comparison Test". //later Schwartz: "Basic" is twice as good as "Direct", because B is two Ds stacked on top of each other. Katz: But "Direct" is twice as good, because the letter-index of D is twice that of B. Schwartz: Nooo! ... I have no immediate retort to that beyond shouting "nooo!"