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#6581

33

Sept. 12, 2017, 6:50 p.m.

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Ms. Piper walks in while Mr. Street is teaching Piper: Where should I put these practice tests? (she printed them for us since she didn't have them in comp sci) Mr. Street: Oh, you know, just in the trash can over there. Student 1: You should put them on his chair, so it's his business. Student 2: Your grade is falling right now. Mr. Street: Or you could put them on the recycling bin, so when the unwanted papers are done, they can just kind of fall...(trails off) //laughter

#10565

99

May 11, 2022, 6:30 p.m.

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Schwartz: This is a cult classic. This is the best movie ever. This is The Princess Bride.

#946

99

Nov. 23, 2009, 7:47 p.m.

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//Mme Loomis, trying to say "We wanted to touch the chameleon but it changed colors" "We wanted to caress the aligator..."

#5372

1414

Feb. 2, 2015, 4:46 p.m.

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Adam: You see, it's a fair trade. Girls get breasts and guys get breast pockets.

#2043

1012

Sept. 2, 2010, 1:51 p.m.

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Lev: She doesn't know what a touchdown is. Polina: What, like in baseball?

#9539

816

Dec. 7, 2021, 2:56 p.m.

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// Talking about how Antony was asking to conspirators to kill him in Julius Caesar Rao: So I guess he was taking a *stab at it* *Entire class laughs* Rao: I didn't even say that on purpose.

#7818

2022

Dec. 19, 2018, 7:11 p.m.

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//8th period Logic //Shiv falling asleep Rose: SHIV WAKE UP WE'RE DOING ORDINALS! //Shiv sits up and pays attention //an hour later, Rose notices Shiv asleep Rose: SHIV WAKE UP! //no reaction

#10072

79

Feb. 24, 2022, 1:33 p.m.

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// Talking about Newton's law of Cooling Schwartz: Give me a food that is best served hot. Student: Charcoal! Schwartz: Sure, let's go with charcoal! (whispers) Don't actually eat charcoal. Schwartz: So, when I am making my charcoal snack, I like to bake it at 425 degrees, for about 5 hours. Schwartz: Then, I would like to travel to the surface of the sun, so it doesn't cool down and get unappetizing. Schwartz: Food of champions? Don't eat charcoal Schwartz: Now, give me a food that is best eaten cold. Class: Snow! Schwartz: My favorite way to make snow is to screw up my freezer so it frosts over so I can chip it off the walls of my freezer and I am free to eat it. Schwartz: I like taking my freezer to Norway, that way when I remove the snow, it starts cooling down even more. Schwartz: Because it's Norway and I'm assuming it's colder than freezing. Schwartz: So we can solve global warming by cooking our charcoal on it. Isn't math wonderful? Schwartz: Don't eat charcoal.

#8089

2428

April 8, 2019, 9:12 a.m.

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//about social conformity Smrek: I saw a student of mine in the hall wearing two different socks, who would willingly do that? Johnny: I usually just wear one sock

#3449

6975

June 6, 2011, 6:39 p.m.

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//Mr Pham and Mr Giles cross pathes between the chemistry room and math help: Pham: I hear you tell kids lines only straight. Giles: Yeah, they're only straight. Pham: No you wrong-- Giles: All lines are straight. Pham: Noooooooooo.