#553

55

Sept. 23, 2009, 1:37 a.m.

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Schafer: I looked like a thug. It was awesome.

#3735

99

Nov. 2, 2011, 6:54 p.m.

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P.A.: Mr. Schafer, please send [Student] to the main office. Schafer: Wait, why do you need him? P.A.: His dad wants him. (about to turn it off) Schafer: WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! P.A.: What? Schafer: How bad does he need him? P.A.: Really really badly! Schafer: OK, fine.

#2430

99

Oct. 28, 2010, 7:10 p.m.

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Pham: When they kill the chicken they cut up. Open intestine! Where you think the bacteria go? ALL OVER THE CHICKEN!

#6232

88

Feb. 3, 2017, 11:52 p.m.

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\\9th period entomology \\Duval pulls up a picture of a spider on the promethean board Jesse: Whoa is that Steven? Duval: I don't know, is Steven a daddy?

#3184

1313

April 1, 2011, 2:06 p.m.

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Janvi: I'm going to Ethopia this summer. Angelina: Is that in Europe?

#1040

48

Dec. 4, 2009, 8:04 a.m.

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Pham: Just doing it.

#5432

1315

March 25, 2015, 7:16 p.m.

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//Excerpted and paraphrased due to memory lapses //Mr. Hammond walks into Quantum Schafer: I bet Mr. Hammond is coming in to force whomever hasn't signed up yet for PuzzlePalooza to sign up. Hammond: I am actually not going to do that. Schafer: Oh, well then, I'm sorry. Hammond: My feelings are hurt, Mr. Schafer. (continuing with class) Schafer: The atom is from the Greek "atomos"... Hammond: You got that from Donaldson. Schafer: No, I actually didn't. Hammond: Anything Greek is from Donaldson. Melinchok: I'm Greek! Hammond: Did you sign up for PuzzlePalooza yet? Melinchok: No, I didn't. I need to send the link to my friend. Hammond: You should just sign up without her. Melinchok: Ok, I'm signing up now. (fills in form on her phone) I'll put down my talents as "Greek" and (something else). Student: Isn't there a choice for "Other?" Hammond: There is. Mr. Schafer, did I tell you about the best Other I've seen so far? Schafer: No, what was it? Hammond: It was "the ability to lie and say that Justin Bieber is cool." (class laughs) Hammond: Hey, it isn't my fault that Mr. Ostrander has a man crush on Justin Bieber! ... Hammond: The first rule of Puzzle Lords is that there are no Puzzle Lords. Schafer: That is just wrong in so many ways. ... Hammond: (to Melinchok) do you follow the Puzzle Lords on Twitter? Melinchok: I unfollowed them because they kept on making annoying posts. Schafer: Did you just say you UNfollowed them? Is that even like a thing? That's like saying you unfriended someone, it just doesn't make sense. Hammond: And all of the annoying posts are by Mr. Stein! Melinchok: Oh, I unfollowed him too. (class laughs) Melinchok: Ok..I'll follow the Puzzle Lords, but... (brief pause) Schafer: You'd better be really careful with what you say next. Melinchok: But whenever I see an annoying post, I'll...scroll right past it and pretend that I never saw it! Hammond: ...Someone must be submitting this to Blairbash right now. ... Melinchok: What does it mean, the prizes are huge? Like are they literally huge, or what? Schafer: Well, there are many ways a prize could be huge. Like it could be really big, and you say, "Wow, that's huge." Or it could be about this big (holds his hands about 8 inches apart) but you look at it and you go, "Wow, that's a huge prize." Or its name could be huge, like Huge the Hamster. We haven't done that one yet though.

#13368

1515

May 9, 2024, 1:37 p.m.

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James Attis: milk is not natural! James: you have to touch a cow in weird places to get it

#10705

79

June 15, 2022, 12:58 p.m.

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Hui: It's better to be 95% honest than 100% honest.

#11351

418

Dec. 22, 2022, 10:08 a.m.

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Stein: So from now on we will just slide over the maths. Stein: *makes water sloshing sounds* Sudhish: *grunts*