#11646

810

March 8, 2023, 7:49 a.m.

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Schwartz(talking to himself): I am definitely tripping over that sometime soon. Andy(reading the box): Wallops first aid kit... Andy: Well in that case, if you do trip, at least you'll have what you need!

#1431

77

Jan. 31, 2010, 6:02 p.m.

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//Mr. Anderson remarked that he is performing in a play over the weekend Student: What's the name of your play? Anderson: I am not here to prostitute myself!

#7288

44

March 2, 2018, 9:49 a.m.

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//While thinking about how to solve a statistics problem Noah Singer: wait, okay... okay... First off, I need a tambourine.

#8625

2121

Oct. 2, 2020, 9:49 a.m.

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//adv geo Rose: Could you guys submit this by 3? Because interims are due at 5 and I haven't given you any grades yet.

#4281

1313

Oct. 26, 2012, 6:14 p.m.

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//Students are programming on their calculators while Clay is explaining the essay assignment Clay: And then you will calculate the conclusion on your calculator, and it will be super helpful.

#4159

414

June 4, 2012, 5:10 p.m.

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//On the bus back from ARML Mike: Do you know what's a really good joke? Cathy's rights!

#8586

-226

April 23, 2020, 1:58 p.m.

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//An online lesson about writing a rhetorical analysis for AP Lang Aaron: *getting confused about what piece is being discussed* Izzee: "Frederick Douglass did not write about the coronavirus!"

#7118

08

Jan. 16, 2018, 6:43 p.m.

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//Rne, giving Eric a hard time about science bowl again. Alan: Hey stop being mean to my friend bro Street: You have friends?

#1329

33

Jan. 15, 2010, 8:38 a.m.

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Schafer: All we do is quote South Park at my house.

#1699

-37

March 21, 2010, 6:59 p.m.

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//Condensed version of a very, very long story (half hour roughly) Sarah: Hey, Mr. Schafer, can you have ice cream that doesn't melt? Schafer: I'm not sure... Sarah: But does it exist? Vishnu: I got this Mr. Schafer, I got this! It can't exist, it melts at room temperature! Student 1: The winner should get ice cream! Schafer: Or cookies! Sarah: But I'd rather have Indian food! Vishnu: My mom makes that, there's always leftovers! Schafer: So if Sarah's right, you bring in leftovers, and if you're right, she brings in cookies. But how will we know who wins? Student: We should vote! Schafer: So, you guys give your evidence, and we'll be the jury. You guys total 30 votes, you two don't get to vote, and I count as 32 votes. Student: That's not fair! Schafer: Life's not fair. Student: This is the strangest bet ever. Schafer: BUSINESS PROPOSITION! //Later on... Bae: I looked this up on my iPhone, and I found this article about it. Schafer: Great, he looked it up, now he's got all the power! Bae: So apparently there's this pudding-ice cream-thing that melts into pudding and therefore isn't solid. There's a picture, too! (shows) Vishnu: But pudding isn't ice cream! Sarah: But it should still count, it starts as ice cream! Vishnu: But it still changes! I win this! Schafer: Yeah, he wins. You owe him cookies.