#13158

57

March 5, 2024, 8:09 p.m.

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Andy: What's cell in chinese? Unsuspecting victim: 细胞? (xi bao, ɕi˥˩ bau̯˥) Andy: HAHA SHIBAL!

#8875

68

Jan. 8, 2021, 11:17 a.m.

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Street: I have a new [educational] video to share with you ... Street: I know you'll be on the edge of your seat Street: Maybe you've already rushed out to YouTube and watched it already

#10352

2222

March 25, 2022, 4:05 p.m.

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//chaotic cirincione anthology, march 25 "Social Security is the single most expensive program of the US federal government. Why? Because old people just keep not dying." "I'm helping to employ elves -- the unemployment rate is very high for elves. There's not much for elves to do." "Who doesn't want to have an nuclear arsenal that can destroy the world hundreds of times over?" "Honestly, I think I should be paid more. But, really, a lot of people should be paid more -- but me especially." "Any questions? No? Good. You should never need help."

#7492

1313

May 20, 2018, 4:50 p.m.

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*talking about pangolins* Talia: That looks like an anteater with a high defense stat.

#4442

1317

Feb. 17, 2013, 6:49 p.m.

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//Harvard MIT Math Tournament 2013, Awards Ceremony MIT Guy: And thank your coaches for bringing you here! Hannah He: Who's our coach again?

#13136

66

Feb. 28, 2024, 3:18 p.m.

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Glenn: Watching people do dissections is really cool. Glenn: Some people are really meticulous and organized while others are like "rip the head off! let's see the entrails!"

#5511

426

June 5, 2015, 3:17 p.m.

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//In English 9 class, learning about commonly confused words. Mr. Clay, jokingly, to the primarily magnet class: Can anyone explain the difference between angel and angle? Rahul: I know I'm not an angel because I'm always right.

#11588

99

Feb. 17, 2023, 12:20 p.m.

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Eric: As a socialist, I want to chat with other people.

#1471

3234

Feb. 5, 2010, 2 p.m.

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// the whole class is spacing out, and then they suddenly hear what Pham is talking about... Pham:.... and then, someday, you, magnet student, ask out pretty girl, someday, you ask popular girl to marry you. So you on your knees asking her to marry you, and you know what she do, she kick you in face... Class: (looks at each other in confusion/suprise)

#12064

66

Sept. 6, 2023, 6:38 p.m.

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Glenn: There’s TESTS!! and then there’s ~quizzies~. Nothing in between. // Glenn: So I came into my neighborhood and I was like “why are all the streetlights off? Why are all the houses dark?” [note: power outage from the plane crash.] But my neighbor Barbara, she has a generator, and so her house was all lit up. And I was like “good for you, Barbara!” // Glenn: Anxiety is not good for your sleep. Cause you’ll just be lying there and then your brain’s like “haHA!” // Glenn: these are the moments where I think to myself, “my kids are never gonna be able to get away with anything.”