#1675

88

March 17, 2010, 12:55 p.m.

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//There is preemptive decorating in case Schafer wins for best teacher Schafer: So I can just look to the back and see a huge "Congratulations". If I look left, I see another sign. Student: What about the sash? Schafer: Right, so I have this sash now! (puts it on) I was gonna have a tiara, but I never got it! Gilad: You should wear the sash to the awards ceremony! Schafer: Yeah, I'll wear a sash and a tiara to the awards. Act all prom queenish and stuff.

#3579

3438

Sept. 19, 2011, 6:47 p.m.

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Thomas: What's a pirates favorite element? Evan: Arrrrrgon. Thomas: No, gold. What's a pirate's favorite felony? Evan: ARRRRRson? Thomas: No, piracy, you idiot. Evan: Do they use LimewiARRRRRR?

#9817

1214

Jan. 25, 2022, 7:48 p.m.

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rose: "3 people are bold enough*. that means by the law of shyness, 9 people don't know."

#8733

33

Nov. 12, 2020, 10:11 a.m.

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Kirk: Think about why this -- is ... brilliant. Kirk: I do not claim to be brilliant, by the way. // Later Kirk: Think about why this is *genius*!

#8879

77

Jan. 8, 2021, 2:42 p.m.

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Quelon: I had a dream where I was in a zoom meeting and all my students crawled out of my computer a la The Ring and pistol-whipped me to death Quelon: Well, only the ones with their screens on Quelon: So if you want to pistol-whip me in my dreams, turn on your screens

#11669

88

March 10, 2023, 5:02 p.m.

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Stein: The weekend is coming, so I'm going to go clubbin', because I always go clubbin' on saturday. Stein: But this time is a very special clubbin', because I'm going to take students with me. Stein: Of course, you all want to go, obviously. Stein, after randomly sampling students: Now, you seven people -- and a panda -- you will go clubbing with me. Stein: Make sure to come at 1:30 AM on Saturday, because that's when the party gets started. Dress up, because it's a party. Stein, later: I don't want to have a lot of people who are really bad dancers, because that'd be embarrassing.

#2342

919

Oct. 11, 2010, 6:07 a.m.

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//students exchange papers, but one student does not have one Templin (to student without paper): Go sit outside. Student: Why? Templin: Because you are an idiot. //later Templin (to older kids): Explain [to the student outside] how when you exchange papers, everyone needs to have a paper. Older kids (to student outside): So you are a stupid idiot.

#1981

111

June 7, 2010, 4:10 p.m.

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//about graduation Blitz: Orchestra was playing? Oh, gosh. I didn't even realize.

#3060

1414

March 10, 2011, 9:09 p.m.

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Pham: If you Asian and you want to lose weight, it very easy. All you do is stop eating the rice!!! You lose 40 pounds in 2 days!

#12309

57

Oct. 13, 2023, 12:02 p.m.

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//chaotic veena anthology, october 13 "I miss being in middle school" "in middle school the 6th graders were called sixies, the 7th graders were called sevies" "Sometimes they called the 8th graders AIDS but nobody really did that" "sixie sounds so much better than freshie" "freshie sounds like a toilet paper brand"