#1777

2325

April 14, 2010, 3:57 p.m.

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Whitacre: So the henna means you're married? Why did you get married! Manisha: No, it doesn't count! It wears off in a few weeks anyways. Whitacre: So does marriage...

#10111

1616

March 1, 2022, 12:34 p.m.

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Jerry Song: A nut case has a 1 to 1 correspondence with "ball sack".

#9513

1111

Dec. 3, 2021, 3:09 p.m.

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Lodal: I can't believe people care about grades!

#12970

55

Feb. 2, 2024, 4:04 p.m.

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Smrek: I would be a great hippie. I love tie-dye. I have a ton and a half of tie-dye shirts. Student, later: You could have been a hippie when you were growing up. Smrek: Hippies weren't around much then -- just how old do you think I am?

#9790

1111

Jan. 20, 2022, 2:13 p.m.

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Schwartz: The key to cross sections is that the topic's awful. Schwartz: It's obnoxious. Schwartz: I got a shape because why not, I'm allowed to, I say so.

#2341

77

Oct. 11, 2010, 6:02 a.m.

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Rose: Yeah, I read about how those Mexicans crashed those planes during 9/11.

#3223

99

April 12, 2011, 8:06 p.m.

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Stein: Don't stand in the middle of the road. The only things in the middle of the road are yellow lines and dead armadilla [sic].

#4248

57

Oct. 11, 2012, 9:51 p.m.

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//Before marching band, Michelle lost a game of plank Jenga and is stuck on the band room floor Adam: By lying on that floor you accept the terms and conditions of syphilis.

#12067

88

Sept. 7, 2023, 9:07 a.m.

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Jerry Song: When I was young, I thought a Barbie was a female barber.

#5323

1414

Dec. 16, 2014, 8:25 p.m.

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Paul: I once went to an ugly sweater party. But I didn't have an ugly sweater, so I took a normal sweater and pinned pictures of ugly celebrities to it. Like Steve Buscemi and Lindsay Lohan's mug shots. //laughs Paul: And another time, I went to a party dressed as Santa Claus. Then everyone came up and asked me if I was Indian Santa Claus. I was like, why can't I just be regular Santa Claus?