#2047

44

Sept. 2, 2010, 7:56 p.m.

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Whitacre: If you ever hear about a cat in a sitcom, it gets run over, killed, or put in a microwave.

#2046

88

Sept. 2, 2010, 7:55 p.m.

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//before taking attendance Whitacre: If you're sort of in the Witness Protection Program, let me know.

#1897

77

May 7, 2010, 9:33 p.m.

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//the class before the AP Whitacre: All right, if you look at my agenda: "Relax. What's the worst that could happen? An 'E' in the class, a '1' on the AP exam?" The Buddha once said "all life is sorrowful." Get used to it! //Proceeds to put on House

#1777

2325

April 14, 2010, 3:57 p.m.

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Whitacre: So the henna means you're married? Why did you get married! Manisha: No, it doesn't count! It wears off in a few weeks anyways. Whitacre: So does marriage...

#1772

44

April 11, 2010, 4 p.m.

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//Whitacre is interrupted by the annoying Infoflow announcement PA: Please tune your TVs to channel 19. Infoflow will begin in 30 seconds. Whitacre: Channel 19? That's the commie channel! Who cares about 19? You only get one channel -- state TV!

#1754

55

April 8, 2010, 7:50 a.m.

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Whitacre: You can't beat the oil industry. We used to have electric and steam cars. But the oil companies were like "We don't like that!" We've been stuck with that mistake for few hundred years, you'd think someone would have fixed it. Gee, humans are so stupid.

#1749

1717

April 7, 2010, 1:44 p.m.

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//we had been discussing how early cars had no traffic laws Whitacre: There should be some time during the day when traffic laws don't apply.  It's like, you could just run over pedestrians and stuff.  I'd be out by Colesville at 2:35 with a lawn chair, one of those umbrellas, and a drink, and I'd just watch Blair kids get run over.  I'd even take bets, like "$5 that 15 kids will be hit!"  It's survival of the fittest in action, Darwin would like it, all the stupid kids would die.

#1724

11

March 25, 2010, 1:04 p.m.

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//Talking about relations with south america and mexico Whitacre: See, the problem is that Americans hate everyone. Nevin: Yeah, those damn Mexicans should know better than to attack us! Whitacre: You know, you sound like you could be my uncle!

#1676

1212

March 17, 2010, 7:10 p.m.

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//during class on Saint Patrick's Day Whitacre: If you're Irish, that's a personal problem. But if you're wearing green and you're not Irish, then you're just an idiot.

#1660

66

March 15, 2010, 3:48 p.m.

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Whitacre: Your parents may say that they don't pick favorites, but that's wrong. Maybe they love you all the same, but there's always one that they love a little bit more, one favorite child. [...] Think about your siblings. See how they get away with all that crap that you used to get in trouble for? "Oh honey, it's not favoritism! We love you both the same, we were just young and inexperienced when we had you." LIES!!!