#6244

44

Feb. 14, 2017, 10:42 p.m.

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Schwartz is drawing 3d figures on the board Sherry: Why does that say Kanyezone? *Schwartz explains why his board always has Kanyezone written on it* Schwartz: Why? Did you think the figure was labeled Kanyezone? We can call it that if you want. *Schwartz goes back and changes all references to the figure to Kanyezone*

#6229

3131

Feb. 1, 2017, 10:39 p.m.

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//Pd.1 Functions Schwartz: It's okay to get a B! B doesn't mean bad, C is average. //Next day in Chemistry Pham: B isn't bad. B is DISASTER!

#6165

55

Jan. 6, 2017, 5:27 p.m.

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//Pd 1 Schwartz Schwartz: Be better than those guys, they're bums.(talking about upperclassmen) Jason: Can I quote you?

#6154

1212

Jan. 4, 2017, 9:05 p.m.

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Schwartz: "How did you arrive at the conclusion that no such triangle exists?" Jesse: "Just use the 'Larger Angle Larger Side' theorem." Schwartz: "Which is..." Jesse: "The larger angle..." Jesse: "...goes with the larger side."

#6126

35

Dec. 20, 2016, 6:09 p.m.

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//Functions Pd.1 Schwartz: So, we know that all polynomials... Shawn: Start with 10!

#6112

1010

Dec. 2, 2016, 5:31 p.m.

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//Pd 7 Analysis Stein: What's his name? Beard guy-oh! Mr. Schwartz!

#6087

2020

Nov. 2, 2016, 9:20 p.m.

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Schwartz: "A function is continuous if it doesn't lie to you." //Draws graph of continuous polynomial on the board Schwartz: "Here I am going along the graph and at x=4, the function didn't lie to me. That is, what I think it should do it did." //Makes a removable discontinuity at x=4 so f(4)=8 instead of f(4)=2 Schwartz: "Now I go along the function and I think it's going to be 2. But it's not. It's 8. The function lied to you. It is a bad function. Functions that lie are bad."

#6086

1212

Nov. 2, 2016, 9:14 p.m.

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Schwartz: "Remember in 2nd grade when your math teacher told you that 5-3=2? And then you, being a smart aleck, raise your hand. The teacher likely sighed and then called on you. You said 'What is 3-5?' Your teacher responded 'You can't do that.' Your teacher lied to you. I am telling you this because I am about to lie to you right now."

#6073

77

Oct. 25, 2016, 9:16 p.m.

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//Functions Pd.1 Schwartz: For sufficiently large values of 5, 5+5=11.

#6068

1010

Oct. 20, 2016, 9:23 p.m.

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//During a meeting of BIG (Blair Engineers' Guild) in Schwartz's room on a Friday afternoon *BIG people are talking, Schwartz is helping a student* *Rose walks in* Kevin: Hey look, it's Mr. Rose! Misha: Yeah, he wanders in like that. *Rose walks over to lost and found pile and takes a jacket* Rose: Hey Schwartz, can I borrow this? Schwartz: Sure, just bring it back. *Rose puts on the jacket* Kevin: It doesn't quite fit. Rose: It's better than the medium girls' coat in my room. *Notices a different jacket and puts it on instead* Rose: Ah! Much better! Schwartz: Just to make sure, you know this is a student's coat? I'm leaving at 4:30, so can you... Rose: Don't worry, I'll give it back to you when I come back. Schwartz: So like, before 4:30? Rose: Nah, like, on Monday. *Leaves* Schwartz: *Speaking to BIG people* If that doesn't make it onto blairbash, I will be very disappointed in all of you.