//Multivar period 9
//Fruit tier list is on the board. Tomatoes are in D tier.
Schwartz: Intelligence is knowing that tomato is a fruit.
Bennett: Wisdom is knowing not to put a tomato in a fruit salad.
Schwartz: Charisma is being able to sell a tomato as salsa.
Strength is being able to crush a tomato.
Dexterity is being able to dodge a tomato.
And Constitution is being able to eat a rotten tomato without getting sick.
That is the stats of D&D, explained by tomatoes.
//Multivar pd 9
Schwartz: I lost my voice over the weekend. I went to this... Texan wedding. Like, 3 out of 10 people were wearing cowboy boots. I went to the wedding in blue jeans and work boots, like the ones I have here. They actually complimented me on these boots. We were sitting around a campfire, and I was the one maintaining it, so I inhaled a lot of smoke.
Schwartz: Why did I bring up this topic again? Oh yeah, to get you guys quiet.
//Multivar, interpreting 3D acceleration
Schwartz: If you are sitting in a box that is moving at constant velocity, then you will not be able to feel any movement. You may try this out in a car.
Schwartz: But not as the driver!!
Schwartz: You can simply use the Law of Large Points to make the point larger.
Schwartz (while demonstrating on board): The Law of Large Points states that when you draw a line between two points, and the line doesn't quite touch a point, then you can make the point larger so that it's on the line.
James: Hold up, I didn't get that. Can you repeat that again?
Schwartz: "Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."
One student: What's that from?
* Entire class shouts out at him that it's from the Princess Bride, Schwartz's favorite movie *
Schwartz: I can feel his letter grade dropping.
//Schwartz, at ARML, about what to put on dietary restrictions/additional concerns sections
Schwartz: If a mosquito bites you, and it's itchy, that's great! I don't need to know that. I need to know if you die when you eat peanuts
Schwartz: At universities, the math department is the second cheapest department because all they need is paper, pencils, and trash cans.
Schwartz: Philosophy is the cheapest because they don't need the trash cans