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Feb. 14, 2019, 1:09 p.m.

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//On Divergence Theorem, Schwartz has drawn a goldfish-esque surface on the whiteboard Schwartz: The surface that smiles back?



Feb. 8, 2019, 2:12 a.m.

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//Period 9 Multivar Schwartz: There's this soy bean drink neatly wrapped in a plastic bag that's been sitting here for a day now. I've heard someone call it a "Berkowitz Grenade".

Jonathan Berkowitz is allergic to many things




Jan. 24, 2019, 7:23 p.m.

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//Schwartz's Multivar BFT. A map of Middle-Earth is drawn on the board. Schwartz: As you take the exam, we will be keeping track of the ring as it makes its way from the Shire to the Cracks of Doom. //later Schwartz: The ring is now at the Elven stronghold, Lorien. Take a break, and maybe eat some lembas. //later Schwartz: The ringbearer is now at the desolate wasteland known as the Plateau of Gorgoroth. You have about 6 minutes left, plus the usual 2 minute grace period. //later Schwartz: The ring has now fallen in to Mount Doom! Our journey has come to an end. But wait! There are eagles flying toward you! 2.5 minutes remaining.



Jan. 15, 2019, 11:13 p.m.

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// Monday, January 14: Schwartz runs a snow day class for functions Assignment: ... justify each step! Jeffrey: *creates two-column construction for his solution* Phillip: What is this, an axiomatic proof? Schwartz: *sees solution* Schwartz: *inserts meme onto document: "Is this a [axiomatic proof]?"*



Jan. 10, 2019, 10 p.m.

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//Multivar, doing problems Rohit: A wise man once said, if the bounds are expressions which are equal to a constant, then let u equal that expression. Ben: In The Art of War, Sun Tzu recommends an appropriate change of variables. //Schwartz walks over Schwartz: People think that The Art of War is about conflict. But actually, The Art of War is about a change of variables with a w sub as the radius.



Jan. 8, 2019, 9:26 a.m.

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// Period 2 Analysis 1 Schwartz: A rose by any other name... Schwartz: An integral by any other symbol... Schwartz: Take a moment to mourn for what Shakespeare could have been!



Jan. 3, 2019, 12:45 p.m.

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// January 2, Math Team meeting: Reynald and Kaz are giving a lecture about their SRP on hats Efe: *Eating a box of french fries* *Schwartz walks over* Schwartz: (points to a sculpture) WHAT’S THAT? Efe: *Turns to look* *Schwartz steals a handful of fries and stuffs them in his mouth*



Dec. 18, 2018, 9:31 a.m.

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//3rd Period Stat //Schwartz walks in. Schwartz: I didn't find any charts on the printer, but I found these CHA-A-A-A-A-ARTS!



Dec. 15, 2018, 10:48 a.m.

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// Functions Period 1: Schwartz is using his modular arithmetic method to pick students to ask questions to Schwartz: Pick two numbers between 1 and 5! Student: Seven! Student 2: Thirty-five! Schwartz: Seven and thirty-five... Schwartz: GOOD JOB, functions...



Dec. 11, 2018, 10:56 a.m.

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//In the middle of MathPhys Schafer: (to Schwartz) Why are you calling me? Schwartz: I was trying to close my apps, and I accidentally swiped something... Schafer: He swiped right on me.