//chaotic stein anthology, february 2
"If you [Erik Sofiaj, pronounced /so'fi.ə/ and not /so'fi.ədʒ/] were a DJ, you could call yourself Mysterious J."
"Do you know why this unit is called Unit 1? You might think it's because it's the first unit, but that's just a coincidence."
"I suppose it would've taken a lot of work, but you could make a graph with pictures of people with hepatitis and without hepatitis."
"You can't tattoo yourself. ... No, that's not a challenge. Don't try that."
"I have, I think, like, 3 children. I'll call one of them, for the purpose of this story, Michael. ... His name is Michael."
"Do you know this word? 'Outlier'? I usually just call them 'freaks'."