#1751

26

April 8, 2010, 7:42 a.m.

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Blaha (to Jacob): I was looking at my attendance, and it's... interesting that you have 11 absences and they're all excused. That doesn't happen in any of my other classes!

#1706

99

March 22, 2010, 10:11 p.m.

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//Shirley is going to RSI over the summer Shirley: Hey Jacob, tell Ms. Ragan your summer plans! Jacob: Oh, I'm working at RSI. Ragan: Really? Doing what? Jacob: I'll be like a sysop. Ragan: No kidding! *laughs* They don't know what's about to hit them! I should write a letter to RSI right now warning them, "Do not let these two near each other under any circumstances." Jacob: Or just wait until after the summer to write the letter. Shirley: "In retrospect, you shouldn't have let those two near each other." "Yeah, we noticed."

#1635

66

March 11, 2010, 7:29 a.m.

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Sanjeev: I saw Mr. Williams yesterday, and he said to me: "You know that sports stat class? You're doing graduate-level work! If I had to write an 11-page paper by Wednesday, I'd be pulling my hair out!" That's what Mr. Williams said. Jacob: Maybe that's why his hair's so short...

#1441

57

Feb. 1, 2010, 12:14 p.m.

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Duval: Meet your new SRP-A teacher, Dr. Hurwitz.

#1411

-26

Jan. 28, 2010, 7:35 a.m.

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Stein: Can somebody besides Jacob Hurwitz say something?

#1388

11

Jan. 21, 2010, 11:53 p.m.

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//Whitacre is talking to Wiz in the media center Jacob: Mr. Whitacre! Are you getting involved with technology? Because I see you talking to Ms. Wiz. Whitacre: No, I'm keeping my distance. *steps back* I don't know anything, so I'm going to the best. I'm like George Washington: I don't have any talent, but I know it when I see it.

#1384

22

Jan. 21, 2010, noon

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Jacob: Look, the emergency stop button's covered up. Wiz: We pressed it, once. When I first got here, Mr. Osmond was still here. For a long time, the button didn't work. One day, he was showing me how it didn't work, and all the phone calls in the building got cut off. Of course, we knew nothing about it. *winks*

#1383

44

Jan. 21, 2010, 11:58 a.m.

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Jacob: Why do you have kids call you Mr. Verrock? Verrock: Because when you do the first name thing, it makes them think I'm their buddy. And then they get all upset when I tell them, "This sucks." "But we're pals!" "You're still gonna fail."

#1365

79

Jan. 20, 2010, 10:02 a.m.

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Duval: I'm staring at the quadratic formula thinking of Frère Jacques. Jacob: Frère Jacques? Duval: Yeah, my mom's a math teacher, and she teaches the quadratic formula using Frère Jacques. *sings* "Negative b, negative b, plus or minus the square root of, plus or minus the square root of, b squared minus four a c, b squared minus four a c, over two a, over two a."

#1337

719

Jan. 15, 2010, 8:52 a.m.

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Jacob: Look at quote 1332! Shirley: When we get to 1337, people are gonna go, *magnet laughs* a-haw-haw-haw-haw! Jacob: That should be quote 1337! I need four more quotes! Shirley: Oh, I have a backlog of Hinkle quotes.