#7897

-220

Jan. 31, 2019, 5:43 p.m.

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Shwetha: Priya, look at Palosky's legs! Palosky: It's beautiful

#6231

88

Feb. 3, 2017, 4:14 p.m.

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Jacob Stavrianos: I was pretty darn high in fifth grade.

#6167

33

Jan. 6, 2017, 10:36 p.m.

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// At MAN 2017 Stav: THEY'RE TRYING TO BREED US!

#6043

2020

Sept. 30, 2016, 12:49 a.m.

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// People are sarcastically making broad existential statements before class Ryan: What is the meaning of life? Stav: TO KICK ASS!!! Ryan: Exactly! Finally, there's someone else who shares my positive outlook on life! Stav: You know, I was quoting you there. Ryan: Oohh. Stav: From like, this morning. Ryan: Sounded familiar.

#4749

1010

Feb. 10, 2014, 6:38 p.m.

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//Walking into Thermo Kirkendall: *sigh* this just isn't my week. Michelle: Jacob, it's Monday. Kirkendall: ...yeah, I know...

#4643

11

Nov. 6, 2013, 2:43 a.m.

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Joel: Weast should be shot. Jacob: No, he should be promoted to Secretary of Education. And then shot.

#4429

88

Feb. 11, 2013, 9:50 a.m.

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Allen: Wait, Jacob, you went to SSI? Jacob: Yeah. Allen: Did you get mugged?

#4376

1010

Jan. 5, 2013, 2:14 p.m.

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//Early in the morning, outside of POE Kirkendall: So, you know how annoying the horny couples who make out in the hallways are? Well, this morning, I discovered something even more annoying: husky horny couples who make out in the hall! It's just as obnoxious, but with twice the surface area for blocking the hall! Evan: That's actually hilarious. Kirkendall: No, it's awful.

#4148

2123

May 21, 2012, 7:57 p.m.

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//In POE just after class started Raanan: Jacob, did you get a haircut? Jacob: NO. I dyed part of my hair invisible.

#4102

1618

April 23, 2012, 11:37 p.m.

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//Patrick Shan jokes are the new Chuck Norris jokes, Jacob Kirkendall jokes are just true... Patrick: Patrick Shan has never seduced a woman. The word seduction implies that he had to try. Jacob: Jacob Kirkendall has never seduced a woman. EVER.