Porac: I'm on crack! Didn't you notice?
Porac: The Africans, they got discipline down. I asked Donald, "Does your mother slap you" and he's like "No. She punches."
Porac: What is something that will make the symptoms of drinking ease? Neel: Hashish or cannibis? Porac: How about something more legal...although that does work. Classmate: Cocaine!
Porac: I hated the "thee, thou" crap. Who was that guy? Oh yeah, Shakespeare. I read the Cliff's Notes, and that was still the only time I almost took drugs in high school.
Porac: If you're offended by swearing, transfer out of Blair. Even on the third floor, the nerds are swearing. They're like, "what's the fucking physics homework?!"
Porac: Ref! What happened there? He was offsides wasn't he? Ref: No, his shot, it hit the post. (field goal post, and so was out of play) Porac: Yes, yes I understand that, but he was offside. Ref: It hit the post. Porac: That was offside!!! Ref: If you continue to argue, I will have to give you a yellow card. No more arguing. Porac: Ok, your doing a great job sir (kind of sarcastically obviously) Ref: (Pulls out yellow card) I warned you coach Porac: IT WAS A COMPLIMENT?!
Porac: You guys need to start playing harder. This is ridiculous. If you don't show me you want to win, I'm going back to bartending, better hours, better money, and better-looking [women].