#4616

-13

Oct. 11, 2013, 4:02 p.m.

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Anybody: Where is [insert a noun]? Jordan Schneider: "Somewhere over the rainbow getting high."

#4435

57

Feb. 14, 2013, 6:43 a.m.

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Jordan Schneider: Have you ever thought you could do a better job than Google? Learn why you're wrong!

#2754

35

Jan. 4, 2011, 10:04 p.m.

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Teacher (shouting): SHUT THE HELL UP! You see that? [Points at clock.] 2:25. I don't wanna hear one damn word out of your mouth until the little hand is on the three and the big hand is on the twelve. Understand? Jordan: Yes! Oops. Sorry, sorry, sorry! [Makes a series of humming noises while waving arms.] Teacher (to Jordan): Shut up and sit down. Teacher (to class): See? Now he understands.

#1495

2224

Feb. 14, 2010, 10:26 p.m.

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Mario: Hey Jordan, did you know that you're named after the country Jordan? Jordan: Well, I'm not named after Jordan, I just have the same name as the country that's all. // as Mario is walking away Jordan: You're named after a PLUMBER!!!

#1454

77

Feb. 4, 2010, 2:39 p.m.

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//Shirley and Ben are playing RPS-25 in the lab. Next to them, Jordan is reading a math paper containing integrals. Ben: Dynamite! Shirley: Man! No, sponge! Ben: Woman cleans with sponge! Jordan: Rock paper scissors is stupid. You can tell Mr. Stein that I said that. Shirley: Integrals are stupid. Jordan: No, they're awesome! You should go to their website!

#1136

33

Dec. 11, 2009, 2:47 p.m.

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//Jordan complains when Pham advances a slide Pham: Why you not take notes? Jordan: I was copying it down! Pham: You supposed to do it faster!

#848

911

Nov. 13, 2009, 2:30 p.m.

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//Jordan was talking about David Tao's status about 24. Jordan: Wait, Tao looks like a badass. Is he actually a badass? No, he's a tiny ass. He just talks the talk, he doesn't walk the walk.

#763

77

Oct. 28, 2009, 7:53 a.m.

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Mr. Pham: You use da Gauss-Jordan meffod. Jordan Hirsh: WHAT? Mr. Pham: Okay, you know what? I call it da Gauss meffod now!!

#672

55

Oct. 13, 2009, 5:44 p.m.

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//Jordan mumbles something while flossing during Human Rights class Student: Are you flossing?! Ms. Manuel: That's a little eccentric, Jordan.

#579

911

Oct. 1, 2009, 8:55 a.m.

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//Jordan, who sits right next to Mr. Pham's desk, is coughing incessantly Mr. Pham: You know me. If I get sick, I kill you.