#3471

8084

June 26, 2011, 1:50 p.m.

⚐ Report

Loomis: It's pyrite. Wait, no it's not. Thomas: It's fool's pyrite!

#3456

1212

June 10, 2011, 4:21 p.m.

⚐ Report

Thomas: I couldn't think of a better idea if I WASN'T on drugs!

#3412

77

May 25, 2011, 10:38 a.m.

⚐ Report

Thomas: Christine O'Donnell isn't Asian. Richard: After I breed with her, she will be.

#3398

99

May 20, 2011, 4:25 p.m.

⚐ Report

Theresa: You should try out for InToneNation. How else are you going to ask a girl to prom? Thomas: With a giant flashing LED sign!

#3299

1113

May 2, 2011, 4:46 p.m.

⚐ Report

Grossman: We don't need to see New Zealand's reaction to Osama's death. Thomas: They're probably too busy having sex with sheep and being upside down anyways.

#3293

6979

May 2, 2011, 12:29 p.m.

⚐ Report

Thomas: For a good programmer, women are like syntax errors: he doesn't get any.

#3280

3941

April 29, 2011, 5:45 p.m.

⚐ Report

Thomas: The Art of War isn't a book so much as a collection of protips. Jeremy: Is it still relevant? Thomas: Well, there are some things like "If birds are flying away, there's probably an ambush" but nothing like "what to do in case of nuclear apocalypse" Jeremy: If the birds have 6 eyes and 4 wings, stay inside your fallout shelter...

#3240

1212

April 14, 2011, 8:26 p.m.

⚐ Report

Thomas: This isn't bad writing, it's SATIRE on bad writing

#3228

66

April 13, 2011, 4:06 p.m.

⚐ Report

//the class is writing stories. They have been assigned ironic as the tone, a sulfur pit as the setting, someone's eye must be poked out, and Gordon Freeman as the main character Viju: It's ironic 'cause they poke an EYE out! Bob: It's ironic 'cause his crowbar is made of iron! Thomas: It's ironic 'cause he's in a sulfur pit!

#3213

1212

April 11, 2011, 4:20 p.m.

⚐ Report

Thomas: Bob, we're not taking the optimum path. Bob: Well, now that we've started walking, it's become the optimum path. Myles: I hate it when that happens!