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May 3, 2012, 1:27 p.m.

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Jason: If you went to hell, would you be able to use lots of geothermal? Thomas: No, there's no cold reservoir. Jason: Oh, they thought of everything!



April 18, 2012, 2:37 p.m.

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Philip: How many successful people do you know with names ending in -iqua? Viju: How many successful people do you know names beginning with de? Thomas: de Broglie...



April 12, 2012, 2 p.m.

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//Mr. Horne had just been talking about someone who suggested eating babies. Patrick: What's wrong with eating babies? Thomas: It's killing them which is the bad part. //When conversation ends Patrick: Now I'm hungry.



Dec. 7, 2011, 5:41 p.m.

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Mufasa: I wanted to join philosophy club, but there were never any meetings. Thomas: We just think about them in the abstract.



Nov. 18, 2011, 7:54 a.m.

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Richard: He has two monocles! Thomas: You mean glasses?



Oct. 30, 2011, 1:54 p.m.

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Bob: Why are you bleeding? Jason: I don't know. Thomas: His blood pressure is higher than atmospheric pressure. Mufasa: That's such a bad reason.



Oct. 30, 2011, 1:53 p.m.

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Thomas: It won't burn you if you juggle it.



Sept. 19, 2011, 6:47 p.m.

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Thomas: What's a pirates favorite element? Evan: Arrrrrgon. Thomas: No, gold. What's a pirate's favorite felony? Evan: ARRRRRson? Thomas: No, piracy, you idiot. Evan: Do they use LimewiARRRRRR?



Sept. 18, 2011, 8:01 p.m.

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Anderson: I used to pick on students randomly, but then someone said, "That's not random, that's arbitrary." So now I use a random number generator. Thomas: It's pseudo-random.



Sept. 13, 2011, 10:44 p.m.

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Bart: And later in the year, we will cook bacon in many interesting ways. Jeremy: Mmmmmmm...bacon... Thomas: Aren't you Jewish?