Jason: If you went to hell, would you be able to use lots of geothermal?
Thomas: No, there's no cold reservoir.
Jason: Oh, they thought of everything!
Philip: How many successful people do you know with names ending in -iqua?
Viju: How many successful people do you know names beginning with de?
Thomas: de Broglie...
//Mr. Horne had just been talking about someone who suggested eating babies.
Patrick: What's wrong with eating babies?
Thomas: It's killing them which is the bad part.
//When conversation ends
Patrick: Now I'm hungry.
Mufasa: I wanted to join philosophy club, but there were never any meetings.
Thomas: We just think about them in the abstract.
Richard: He has two monocles!
Thomas: You mean glasses?
Bob: Why are you bleeding?
Jason: I don't know.
Thomas: His blood pressure is higher than atmospheric pressure.
Mufasa: That's such a bad reason.
Thomas: It won't burn you if you juggle it.
Thomas: What's a pirates favorite element?
Thomas: No, gold. What's a pirate's favorite felony?
Thomas: No, piracy, you idiot.
Evan: Do they use LimewiARRRRRR?
Anderson: I used to pick on students randomly, but then someone said, "That's not random, that's arbitrary." So now I use a random number generator.
Thomas: It's pseudo-random.
Bart: And later in the year, we will cook bacon in many interesting ways.
Thomas: Aren't you Jewish?