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Sept. 20, 2022, 5:36 p.m.

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Stelzner: They don't like being happy in Germany. Stelzner: They like being sad. Stelzner: Which makes them happy! So it's all good.



May 26, 2022, 12:34 p.m.

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Student: That's nitrogen, can't you fucking see? Nitrogen is the ball right there. Stelzner: [Student], language! Student: Sorry, I guess I can't say "balls."



April 28, 2022, 12:35 p.m.

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// Lucas is messing with the board Ms. Stelzner: Lucas please, I'm begging you. Ms. Stelzner: I'm sending you down to Daddy.



March 31, 2022, 12:19 p.m.

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// Talking about Miranda Rights/"right to remain silent" Stelzner: Which amendment does that relate to? Student: The 5th. Stelzner: Can you explain why? Student: I don't want to explain.



March 16, 2022, 12:55 p.m.

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Stelzner: What did you guys think about the unit test? Jeremy: It was so hard I thought I was gonna pass out!



March 16, 2022, 7:31 a.m.

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// shrujana has a picture of Eminem on her phone Shrujana: who's hotter, Stelzner or this guy? Simoni, immediately: Stelzner!



Feb. 28, 2022, 1:20 p.m.

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// Marbury v Madison Stelzner: That’s some crazy ass logic!



Feb. 18, 2022, 12:42 p.m.

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// Talking about federal agencies and privatization Ms. Stelzner: Let’s take all the money out of NASA and throw it at Elon Musk and see what happens.



Feb. 14, 2022, 10:46 a.m.

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//PD4 Journalism Stelzner: You can even write about Mr. and Ms. Cole and what it's like to be married to someone in the building. Sudhish: Why don't we just write about you then? Stelzner: But I'm not married to anyone in the building. Everyone: Wait what? ... Stelzner: Oh wait yeah nevermind.



Feb. 10, 2022, 12:49 p.m.

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Student: What happens during a government shutdown? Stelzner: Complete anarchy and chaos! Cats and dogs live together!