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Feb. 17, 2023, 4:31 p.m.

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//reads dramatic description of Gatsby's smile from The Great Gatsby Anderson: If you find someone with a smile like that, lock them up. Anderson: Not in that sense. I mean the other sense. *gestures at wedding ring*



Sept. 28, 2022, 10:28 a.m.

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Stein: My son is getting married this Saturday. Stein: Unless he does something dumb between now and then.



May 23, 2022, 6:05 p.m.

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//reading Twenty Hours Rao: If I poisoned my husband this morning, it would feel really weird to teach this class. Student: Did you poison your husband this morning? Rao: I'm not married, so there's no one to poison.



March 26, 2021, 11:19 a.m.

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Street: I mean, I just don't like anybody. Student: Wait, then ... why do you have a wife? Street: Yeah, good question. I'm not sure why she puts up with me!



Oct. 18, 2017, 7:33 a.m.

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Rose: *writing a propositional logic expression on the board* "If you do the dishes, I'll give you polyhedra". Not unlike discussions happening at my house.



Sept. 17, 2013, 5:44 p.m.

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Bunday: My wife says that when I die, she'll kick me out in a hearse and right behind me she'll have U-Haul with all of my shit.



Dec. 12, 2012, 7:38 a.m.

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Whitacre: Slaves have been here as long as one can remember. Take marriage for example.



March 16, 2012, 7:08 p.m.

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Teacher: When Stein and I were still married...



March 29, 2011, 11:15 a.m.

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Schafer (holds up wedding ring): See this?  This is your worst nightmare! //class laughs Schafer: Marriage jokes aside, this thing gets caught on EVERYTHING when you're doing work.  So you just shouldn't wear it.



Oct. 13, 2010, 2:42 p.m.

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//A student walks in to Ms. Smrek's psychology class Student: Hey Ms. Smrek. Smrek: ...did you come in here just to say that? Student: Yup. Smrek: ...go back to class. Student: But I have Mr. Whitacre!! Smrek: HA! Too bad, go back to his class. Student (while walking out): You know, we were talking about how you and Mr. Whitacre should get married. You could have angry babies!