//reading Twenty Hours Rao: If I poisoned my husband this morning, it would feel really weird to teach this class. Student: Did you poison your husband this morning? Rao: I'm not married, so there's no one to poison.
Street: I mean, I just don't like anybody. Student: Wait, then ... why do you have a wife? Street: Yeah, good question. I'm not sure why she puts up with me!
Rose: *writing a propositional logic expression on the board* "If you do the dishes, I'll give you polyhedra". Not unlike discussions happening at my house.
Bunday: My wife says that when I die, she'll kick me out in a hearse and right behind me she'll have U-Haul with all of my shit.
Whitacre: Slaves have been here as long as one can remember. Take marriage for example.
Teacher: When Stein and I were still married...
Schafer (holds up wedding ring): See this? This is your worst nightmare! //class laughs Schafer: Marriage jokes aside, this thing gets caught on EVERYTHING when you're doing work. So you just shouldn't wear it.
//A student walks in to Ms. Smrek's psychology class Student: Hey Ms. Smrek. Smrek: ...did you come in here just to say that? Student: Yup. Smrek: ...go back to class. Student: But I have Mr. Whitacre!! Smrek: HA! Too bad, go back to his class. Student (while walking out): You know, we were talking about how you and Mr. Whitacre should get married. You could have angry babies!