#9073

-26

March 26, 2021, 11:19 a.m.

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Street: I mean, I just don't like anybody. Student: Wait, then ... why do you have a wife? Street: Yeah, good question. I'm not sure why she puts up with me!

#6793

1010

Oct. 18, 2017, 7:33 a.m.

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Rose: *writing a propositional logic expression on the board* "If you do the dishes, I'll give you polyhedra". Not unlike discussions happening at my house.

#4584

22

Sept. 17, 2013, 5:44 p.m.

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Bunday: My wife says that when I die, she'll kick me out in a hearse and right behind me she'll have U-Haul with all of my shit.

#4347

1111

Dec. 12, 2012, 7:38 a.m.

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Whitacre: Slaves have been here as long as one can remember. Take marriage for example.

#4046

33

March 16, 2012, 7:08 p.m.

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Teacher: When Stein and I were still married...

#3166

99

March 29, 2011, 11:15 a.m.

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Schafer (holds up wedding ring): See this?  This is your worst nightmare! //class laughs Schafer: Marriage jokes aside, this thing gets caught on EVERYTHING when you're doing work.  So you just shouldn't wear it.

#2353

88

Oct. 13, 2010, 2:42 p.m.

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//A student walks in to Ms. Smrek's psychology class Student: Hey Ms. Smrek. Smrek: ...did you come in here just to say that? Student: Yup. Smrek: ...go back to class. Student: But I have Mr. Whitacre!! Smrek: HA! Too bad, go back to his class. Student (while walking out): You know, we were talking about how you and Mr. Whitacre should get married. You could have angry babies!