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Dec. 16, 2017, 5:31 p.m.

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//what the board in Schwartz's room says Board: Fair game for Functions Thursday Quiz: *some trig and algebra concepts* and triple integrals Ishaan: Woah I just got trolled by Mr. Schwartz. My life has just reached a low point.



Sept. 20, 2017, 10:22 p.m.

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//Bracklinn wearing Ivy's red volleyball jacket with the hood on Ivy: Hey look it's Little Red Riding Hood! Oh Grandma, why is your skin so white? Eric L.: Isn't Bracklinn supposed to ask that to the wolf? Bracklinn: Yes, Eric. And second of all, look at yourself Ivy! You're like whiter than me. Ivy: Oh Grandma, why are you so short? Bracklinn: To make others have a higher self-esteem.



March 19, 2017, 10:27 p.m.

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//I forgot the context Eric: ...sí, me gusta el fútbol mucho. Cuadrado: Sí, como un hispano.



May 17, 2016, 6:33 p.m.

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//At the jazz concert Eric Shen: Wow, the only people here are like, students from other music classes, parents, and really old people. Misha: What are you talking about? Mr. Paul's here. Eric: Yeah, exactly, really old people.



May 5, 2016, 10:20 p.m.

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// ARML Practice Eric Lu: What do time and Guang's hair have in common? They're both up!



Nov. 24, 2015, 5:39 p.m.

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//Math Phys '15-'16 //Eric Lu is called to do an AP problem in front of the class, so Schafer reads it Schafer: (very quickly) A frictionless pendulum of length 3 m (mumble) 10 degrees (mumble) displacement, the potential energy (mumble mumble) 10 J. Whatisthe (mumble) kinetic energy (mumble) its potential energy is 5 J? Phew! Eric Lu will now say one word. Eric: B? Schafer: Excellent! You have now received full credit on that problem.



May 6, 2015, 7:53 p.m.

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//In Origins, we're sharing the Physics problems we made. Eric Cheung's turn. Donaldson: Eric, what is your problem about? Eric: There's an elephant in a box going down a ramp. Donaldson: Why an elephant? Eric: I just wanted an elephant. It's only 60 grams. //A few minutes later Eric: So, then the elephant goes around the loops. Donaldson: Why loops? You realize the loops don't affect the problem. Eric: I know, I just wanted a loop. So then there's another loop, then... Donaldson: Then four more loops? Eric: No. There are only three loops.



March 18, 2015, 9:22 p.m.

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Eric Neyman: "Are you doing any work in ModSim" has about the same truth value as "Is Sachin here."

Sachin is notorious for being difficult to find, as he is often not where he's supposed to be (think electrons). ModSim is a Pham class.

neyman, eric, modsim, sachin



Feb. 24, 2015, 11:41 a.m.

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// Mr. Rose is fuming about missing multiple functions classes and he is now yelling about the kids who are going to AMC for the second time Mr. Rose: Who are you going to listen to, me or Eric Neyman??? You should listen to me; I'm taller than him!



Dec. 15, 2014, 4:47 p.m.

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//Unnamed student (henceforth "Student") is giving a practice SRP presentation on people’s ability to distinguish between speaking and singing. //Student finishes presenting; more than half of the class raises their hand. Mike, to Matthew: Sorry, what’s everybody’s question? Matthew: Like, "what exactly did you do, again?" //Questions went on for half an hour. Below are some highlights. -- Harrison: So basically your project is about differentiating between speaking and singing. Do you have an objective definition of singing? Student: Singing is pleasing to the ears. Harrison: But do you have an objective definition? Student: No. Music is subjective. Harrison: Okay, so basically your project is meaningless. //Student calls on someone else. -- Arjuna: Doesn’t perception change with age? Student: Yeah, but age doesn’t really matter. Arjuna: So are you blocking by age? Student: Um... uh... yeah, sure. -- Eric: How many age blocks do you have? Student: Age doesn’t really matter. Eric: But are you blocking by age? Student: Uh, sure. Eric: So you have a sample size of 24, you have two gender blocks, and you have several age blocks. How will you be able to get statistically significant results? //Class laughs. Student: Well, after we have the data, we’ll figure out whether it’s statistically significant. Matthew: But Eric just figured out that it’s not statistically significant. Mike, to Matthew and Eric: Okay, we’ve determined that the whole project is BS. Let’s move on. //Student calls on the next person with a question. -- Sachin: Can you go back to the first slide? //Student goes back to the title slide. //5-second silence Student: So what’s your question? Sachin: Oh, I don’t have one. I just wanted you to go back to that slide. //Later Eric: Wait, why did you ask to go back to the first slide? Sachin: I just wanted to stall. Eric: So there wouldn’t be any more presentations? Sachin: Yeah, and to troll. -- Eric, to Mike: I think his project is not topologically equivalent to Salamano. //Note: Salamano, a character in _The Stranger_, is Eric’s go-to example of something that doesn’t have holes in it. Mike, to Eric: I think his project is topologically equivalent to a sponge. //After 5 seconds. Mike, to Eric: Actually, it’s topologically equivalent to a Sierpinski sponge, because it has no volume. Dennis, to Mike and Eric: If he did a math presentation, he would understand numbers better than anyone since Morris Kline. //Note: making fun of this ridiculous quote at the bottom of the front cover of this book: -- Ms. Bosse: Did anybody not ask a question yet? -- //This one might not be very accurate. //Kevin frantically waves his hand. Student calls on him. Kevin: You said during your presentation that audio evidence cannot be used in court, but I think that you can in fact use audio recordings in court. Student: Oh, by audio evidence I mean what people say they heard, not actual recordings. Kevin: But what if there’s hearsay? Student: What’s hearsay? //Kevin explains what hearsay is. Student: Oh, but I’m talking about actual recordings.