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Feb. 1, 2023, 3:30 p.m.

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Kaluta: My friend Paul Metzler once licked a battery. Generally doing that will just tingle. But he had braces, and it went pop. He almost blacked out.

the stories of unsafe behavior continue //mod note: Metzler was abruptly shocked to find that he was abruptly shocked

fot, poe, kaluta



Feb. 1, 2023, 2:28 p.m.

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Anderson: Let's say Mr. Anderson wants to buy Grandma a car, because of course I can do that with my overflowing teacher-salary. //later Anderson: What is the warrant? Why does it matter that the car is cheap? Nicole, quietly: She won't need it for long.



Feb. 1, 2023, 1:23 p.m.

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Jerry Song: *Writes "trust me I touch grass" on his note card* Anderson: You're gonna have to explain that to me later.

no, he doesn't //mod note: he asserts that he interacts with the real/outside world

jerry, anderson



Feb. 1, 2023, 12:56 p.m.

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Foster: Do any of you guys player splatoon? Foster: I can guarantee he will destroy you guys. Foster: He’s ranked in the world. Number 10!



Feb. 1, 2023, 8:54 a.m.

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Schwartz: What do you get when you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito? Schwartz: Nothing! You can’t cross a scalar with a vector! Schwartz: You can do anything students, except cross scalars with vectors!



Jan. 31, 2023, 4:07 p.m.

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Bramble: Of course, the best part about this image is the fashion statement I’m making with these jean shorts. Zoe: Mr. Bramble, I think they’re called jorts. Bramble: With such a cool name, does that make them cool to wear? Zoe: It depends who’s wearing them.



Jan. 31, 2023, 3:53 p.m.

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Hui: Stealing from science bowl is always the morally correct decision.



Jan. 31, 2023, 3:33 p.m.

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Kaluta: One year I did have a kid who [jumped out the window]. He was like that—I said “most people wouldn’t jump out the window” so he went *shwoop* Kaluta: He didn’t graduate.

To make this even better, it was a second-floor classroom. //mod note: cf 10153

fot, kaluta



Jan. 31, 2023, 12:47 p.m.

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Cirincione: Americans love their hero stories. Often they have a single protagonist, often only the protagonist because they're "fated to be." For example, Harry Potter is the hero because at the beginning of the story he just *was.*



Jan. 31, 2023, 12:08 p.m.

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Andy: Ms. Smolen, if Ricky and Victor got into a fight, who do you think would win? Smolen: Victor. Smolen: Ricky, Victor could just sit on you.