#2200

1414

Sept. 25, 2010, 5:27 p.m.

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//Beginning of AP Physics DP, taught by Mr. Boettcher Schafer: Okay, guys, I'm teaching today! Class, in unison: Yay! Schafer: No, you're supposed to say, "Aww, but we want Mr. Boettcher." (Signals for class to repeat after him.) Class, in unison: Yay!

#2122

2121

Sept. 16, 2010, 9:24 p.m.

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Stein: So you can't go faster than the speed of light? Schafer: Not without dilithium crystals and a warp core.

#2095

1010

Sept. 11, 2010, 4:32 p.m.

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Schafer: Would anyone like a copy of the pesticides our school uses? (Muttering quietly) They didn't keep you all away.

#2094

1111

Sept. 10, 2010, 8:23 p.m.

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Rose: Schafer is just a big Stein wannabe. And you can tell him I said that.

#2093

1212

Sept. 10, 2010, 8:20 p.m.

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Rose: I taught physics in my funtions class today. Schafer: Did you screw it up?

#1865

44

May 2, 2010, 6:52 p.m.

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Gilad: You know what would be cool? Mr. Schafer: Ice cream? Gilad: No. Schafer: NCAA Basketball on the big screen? Gilad: Yeah. Schafer: I have three issues with that: One, I don't think you can be quiet. Two, did I mention I don't think you can be quiet?

#1857

1111

May 2, 2010, 6:31 p.m.

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//Mr. Schafer is being filmed for consideration for the MCPS Teacher of the Year award Gilad: They should have competitive teaching. This would be, like, the ESPN coverage.

#1815

2020

April 22, 2010, 8:50 p.m.

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//Schafer lights a bunsen burner with a blowtorch Schafer: Never simply kill that which you can overkill

#1716

33

March 24, 2010, 3:33 p.m.

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Schafer: Rachel, pick a number between 0-2 that's an integer. Rachel: 3?

#1699

-37

March 21, 2010, 6:59 p.m.

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//Condensed version of a very, very long story (half hour roughly) Sarah: Hey, Mr. Schafer, can you have ice cream that doesn't melt? Schafer: I'm not sure... Sarah: But does it exist? Vishnu: I got this Mr. Schafer, I got this! It can't exist, it melts at room temperature! Student 1: The winner should get ice cream! Schafer: Or cookies! Sarah: But I'd rather have Indian food! Vishnu: My mom makes that, there's always leftovers! Schafer: So if Sarah's right, you bring in leftovers, and if you're right, she brings in cookies. But how will we know who wins? Student: We should vote! Schafer: So, you guys give your evidence, and we'll be the jury. You guys total 30 votes, you two don't get to vote, and I count as 32 votes. Student: That's not fair! Schafer: Life's not fair. Student: This is the strangest bet ever. Schafer: BUSINESS PROPOSITION! //Later on... Bae: I looked this up on my iPhone, and I found this article about it. Schafer: Great, he looked it up, now he's got all the power! Bae: So apparently there's this pudding-ice cream-thing that melts into pudding and therefore isn't solid. There's a picture, too! (shows) Vishnu: But pudding isn't ice cream! Sarah: But it should still count, it starts as ice cream! Vishnu: But it still changes! I win this! Schafer: Yeah, he wins. You owe him cookies.