#13054

66

Feb. 13, 2024, 3:02 p.m.

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Glenn: I have a friend who is short and beautiful but also terrifying Glenn: She's like 4'10" but I would never cross her

#13052

46

Feb. 13, 2024, 2:55 p.m.

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Glenn: My daughter told me the other day "I asked Bernard to be my valentine." // Later Glenn: So last night Alice was calling her dad and said "I asked Bernard to be my valentine". Glenn: And her dad said "well I guess you could ask him for his parents' number and arrange a playdate". Glenn: Alice said "if Bernard comes over it will be a real date". // Later Glenn: I'll scope him out. Glenn: I'll tell him to sit down. Glenn: "What are your intentions with my daughter?"

#13043

33

Feb. 12, 2024, 2:50 p.m.

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Glenn: One time when we were visiting my sister, my daughter said "The floor snack tastes bad", which was my sister's dog food. Glenn: She is severely allergic to peanuts and dog food often have peanuts or peanut butter as a source of protein. Glenn: However, her complaint was that it was bland. Glenn: Hey, don't judge. I've tried dog treats too.

#13021

77

Feb. 9, 2024, 2:46 p.m.

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Glenn: What do insects like flies decompose in my yard? Student: A corpse! Glenn: Sure! No corpses in my yard though, I'm pretty sure. What else? Student: Poop and waste! Glenn: Yes! I'm not pooping in the yard, mind you!

#13019

35

Feb. 9, 2024, 10:23 a.m.

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Glenn: Why is wisconsin funny? //later Glenn: Ever chew on those cheese curds that go EER EER EER EER EER EER? Glenn: that's a thing in Wisconsin Sai: Wiscansin. Glenn: Wiscansin.

#12995

33

Feb. 7, 2024, 11 a.m.

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Glenn: Remember a while back we had a heat wave Glenn: And I say heat wave like it was in the 70s Glenn: And what did this building feel like? Sai: The Sun!

#12957

55

Feb. 1, 2024, 2:55 p.m.

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Glenn: When you think about it, mating is kind of fascinating

#12955

48

Feb. 1, 2024, 2:49 p.m.

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Glenn: Given that I am 5'3 and my sister is 5'2.5, that inch matters! Andy: That's what she said.

#12917

88

Jan. 30, 2024, 10:53 a.m.

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Glenn: I HAVE VIALS OF TICKS I HAVE PULLED OFF OF STUDENTS Glenn: ONE OF THEM STILL HAS A CHUNK OF FLESH ATTACHED TO IT

#12916

44

Jan. 30, 2024, 10:41 a.m.

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Glenn: Then we'll go on a boat, a research vesicle Glenn: vessel, not vesicle Glenn: we're not cells.