#712

88

Oct. 20, 2009, 7:41 p.m.

⚐ Report

//Hammond puts on his hat and coat to leave Jacob: Nice outfit, Mr. Hammond! Stein: We thought it looked like Indiana Jones. Schafer: I thought it looked like a stalker.

#708

77

Oct. 20, 2009, 7:40 p.m.

⚐ Report

Schafer: I hate you all. Jacob: Last week when you said that, you said you were talking to the electrons. Schafer: Not this time.

#678

99

Oct. 14, 2009, 5:33 p.m.

⚐ Report

//Jacob walks up to a table at the college fair Jacob: *reading out loud* Black College Expo... *walks away* Expo rep: Come over here! Yo' black! And money is green! *hands Jacob a flier*

#677

55

Oct. 14, 2009, 1:41 p.m.

⚐ Report

Whitacre: What happened? Jacob: I ate a half-smoke, and it was half beef, half pork. They told me it was all-beef! Whitacre: Are you Orthodox? Jacob: No, Conservative. Whitacre: Welcome to the club. *pauses* Welcome to reformed Judaism. You can go to McDonald's now and say, "Okay, bring it on! I want a BLT with some pork rinds and some grease to drink." //later Whitacre: You should've sued. Violating religious principles. Think, you could own half of Ben's Chili Bowl. That would be... *rubs fingers together*

#675

66

Oct. 14, 2009, 12:55 p.m.

⚐ Report

Kamal: Anyone want brownies? *holds up a bag* Jacob: Whoo! *jumps up, then slips and falls because he's only wearing socks*

#674

11

Oct. 14, 2009, 12:53 p.m.

⚐ Report

//Jacob and Kamal are doing math on the board Whitacre: Is that something good or is that crap? Jacob: Oh, just... don't worry about it. Whitacre: Don't worry about it? I'm going over to look. I learned that from my parents.

#662

6165

Oct. 13, 2009, 11:02 a.m.

⚐ Report

Schafer: My house was too cold last night because I didn't turn on the heat. Jacob: Your personal philosophy is to put on a sweater. That's what you tell your roommate. Schafer: Damn skippy! Until the first frost, I don't need heat. Shirley: My philosophy is to take off clothes if you're hot. Mikey: But there are only so many clothes you can take off. Schafer: Michael, while you are correct in your assessment, you have left an image in my mind that I don't want to see. I may not sleep for days.

#648

44

Oct. 12, 2009, 11:11 a.m.

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Whitacre: It's a shiv! Go take that to prison. Whammo, you're out. Jacob: It's called Blammo.

#647

66

Oct. 12, 2009, 11:10 a.m.

⚐ Report

//to Jacob, after he put an assignment on BILL Whitacre: You're helping people! Did I not teach you anything? You're ruining survival of the fittest! How is this natural selection if you're dragging people along with you? Compassion. Casualties. Compassion. Casualties.

#635

00

Oct. 12, 2009, 11:05 a.m.

⚐ Report

//to Jacob on Neckwear Friday Whitacre: You're a toxic hazard with all that stuff.