//Sysops meeting Hammond (in exaggerated elderly voice): In my day, we had to walk uphill two ways to school in the snow! Katz: Not uphill three ways? Hammond (same voice): We didn't have three directions back then! We lived in two-dimensional space, and we liked it! Hammond: It was enough for me, so it's enough for you!
// Hammond walks into diffeq, sees the board Hammond: are those absolute values or matrices? Schwartz: matrices Hammond: thank goodness Hammond: this class has absolutely no value
// MABL Hammond: On what day were the French Huguenots massacred? Jacen: Saint Patrick's!
// MABL practice Hammond: Negative 80 million points! Hammond: But I'll give you back 1 million points because he was a horrible horrible racist. Leela: Only 1 million points?
//In modsim, playing "I need an A (R-rated version)" Video: On your 3rd exam, you drew a really graphic depiction of me as the devil taking a load from Charles Manson in the face Hammond (walking in): Sounds like you're having fun in here.
//Trying to take a survey Hammond: Have you guys figured out the puzzles? I mean, the survey link?
// Hammond has just interrupted Complex by announcing that many students in the class still haven't signed up for Puzzlepalooza Schwartz: (to the class) I'd assign it to you as homework, but then it'd be less likely to get done.
Schafer: Air resistance and gravity. That's all we care about today. //Hammond walks in Hammond: That's IT? That's all you care about?! (waits for compliment) Schafer: Yeah, well we certainly don't care about you!
//Schafer is trying to draw Tonka while Hammond laughs at him Class: Is that... a cat? Hammond: Why don't you just give up and turn it into an elephant instead? Schafer: With all the love in my heart, I HATE YOU.
Mr.Schafer: Let's say Mr.Hammond and Mr.Stein both ignore everything that I said at this point. //Schafer had just talked about not sharing and comparing the physics test Mr.Schafer: Let's say Mr. Hammond lost 4 points, and Mr.Stein lost 5. If they compare their work and did the exact same thing...well, that's just unfair. I'll look at them both, and take the extra point off of Mr. Hammond's. //Hammond storms to Schafer's desk, throws his keys on the floor, and stomps away