// Hammond walks into AP World Klees: I knew Hammond was gonna come. Klees: I knew he was gonna track me down.
Me: Mr. Ostrander, do you know where Mr. Hammond is? Ostrander: Hang on, I’m trying to connect my Peter-to-Peter radar right now. Ostrander: It appears that Mr. Hammond is offline.
Hammond: je n'attraperai pas de frisbees dans ma bouche. Hammond: It's in a french phrase book for cats. Hammond: It's in there with "I will come when called" and "I will not eat what I'm not supposed to."
//Sysops meeting Hammond (in exaggerated elderly voice): In my day, we had to walk uphill two ways to school in the snow! Katz: Not uphill three ways? Hammond (same voice): We didn't have three directions back then! We lived in two-dimensional space, and we liked it! Hammond: It was enough for me, so it's enough for you!
// Hammond walks into diffeq, sees the board Hammond: are those absolute values or matrices? Schwartz: matrices Hammond: thank goodness Hammond: this class has absolutely no value
// MABL Hammond: On what day were the French Huguenots massacred? Jacen: Saint Patrick's!
// MABL practice Hammond: Negative 80 million points! Hammond: But I'll give you back 1 million points because he was a horrible horrible racist. Leela: Only 1 million points?
//In modsim, playing "I need an A (R-rated version)" Video: On your 3rd exam, you drew a really graphic depiction of me as the devil taking a load from Charles Manson in the face Hammond (walking in): Sounds like you're having fun in here.
//Trying to take a survey Hammond: Have you guys figured out the puzzles? I mean, the survey link?
// Hammond has just interrupted Complex by announcing that many students in the class still haven't signed up for Puzzlepalooza Schwartz: (to the class) I'd assign it to you as homework, but then it'd be less likely to get done.