Student: I don't like when school teachers interdate each other Student: It's like school incest. Student: like band kids don't date each other cuz of bandcest
// no gum (or any food) allowed in band Oldham: I think there's a better place for that gum Student: in the trash? Oldham: yea Student: ...I just swallowed it Oldham: there's a joke to be made here
Oldham: this isn't to embarrass anyone, it's just to see who I need to harass later
Ben Rozner: I hope to some day have as much confidence at Oldham has in our sightreading skills.
// a student is singing something Oldham: Hey (student), who sings that song? Student: (artist's name) Oldham: Yeah, let's keep it that way.
//Albert is about to perform a duet in band Albert: This piece contains many un-timetable timings, un-glissable glisses, and - dare I say - un-dynamicable dynamics. This is intentional. All the mistakes you hear were carefully practiced to show the chaos and the sadness of the world.
//Students, at this time Griffin, are conducting Symphonic Band while Oldham handles playing tests in his office Griffin: Guys! I need complete silence to aid my creative processes! Hannah: You have none
//Symphonic band is practicing Havendance Mr. Oldham: "In the section starting at measure 23, I hear no dynamic contrast. It's just duh duh duh duh-duh. It's like I want to play Call of Duty and you guys want to play Pac-man."
//Monday in Symphonic Band: //Richard K. is holding a form Cynthia: Hey, what form is that? Richard: A form to sell my soul Cynthia: If you sell your soul I just might buy it Richard: Wait, why would you want my soul? Cynthia: *witch cackle* Michael Y.: You'd make a very good actress; that was like the perfect witch laugh Richard: No, you don't get it, that's her actual laugh
//During concert band Stephens: Willie, are you sure you have the timpani music? Or is it the tuba part? Willie: Oh... this says flute.