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March 3, 2020, 7:50 p.m.

⚐ Report
// a student is singing something Oldham: Hey (student), who sings that song? Student: (artist's name) Oldham: Yeah, let's keep it that way.



Dec. 18, 2018, 10:56 a.m.

⚐ Report
//Albert is about to perform a duet in band Albert: This piece contains many un-timetable timings, un-glissable glisses, and - dare I say - un-dynamicable dynamics. This is intentional. All the mistakes you hear were carefully practiced to show the chaos and the sadness of the world.



Feb. 5, 2016, 6:47 p.m.

⚐ Report
//Students, at this time Griffin, are conducting Symphonic Band while Oldham handles playing tests in his office Griffin: Guys! I need complete silence to aid my creative processes! Hannah: You have none



Nov. 18, 2014, 11:23 p.m.

⚐ Report
//Symphonic band is practicing Havendance Mr. Oldham: "In the section starting at measure 23, I hear no dynamic contrast. It's just duh duh duh duh-duh. It's like I want to play Call of Duty and you guys want to play Pac-man."



Oct. 16, 2014, 9:40 p.m.

⚐ Report
//Monday in Symphonic Band: //Richard K. is holding a form Cynthia: Hey, what form is that? Richard: A form to sell my soul Cynthia: If you sell your soul I just might buy it Richard: Wait, why would you want my soul? Cynthia: *witch cackle* Michael Y.: You'd make a very good actress; that was like the perfect witch laugh Richard: No, you don't get it, that's her actual laugh



April 15, 2013, 7:38 p.m.

⚐ Report
//During concert band Stephens: Willie, are you sure you have the timpani music? Or is it the tuba part? Willie: Oh... this says flute.



April 13, 2012, 11:43 p.m.

⚐ Report
//Patrick Shan walks into band Patrick Washington: Hi Patrick! Patrick Shan: Hi Patrick! Patrick Washington: Hi Patrick! Patrick Shan: Hi Patrick! //later Ivan: Hi Patricks! Patrick Washington: You're not a Patrick! Loser!



April 12, 2012, 1:40 p.m.

⚐ Report
//Talking about trombones Roberts: 5th position is the worst position ever made Patrick Shan: That's what s- Roberts: For trombones.



Aug. 31, 2011, 4:05 p.m.

⚐ Report
//Talking about a practice marching band parade Ms. Roberts: You guys are all bunching up. You look like the accordion band. You don't want to look like that. Accordions are nerdy. Adam (Junior Drum Major): Um...excuse me, Ms. Roberts. I play accordion. Roberts: Oh... I'm sorry. Adam: Thank you. Roberts: No. I'm sorry you play accordion.



May 18, 2011, 7:39 p.m.

⚐ Report
//right after jazz band, where Allison has been complaining about how ugly her hat is Allison: Ms. Roberts, you know what's the ugliest thing in the world? Roberts: Your FACE? Students: -shocked laughter- Roberts: Did I just say that? Wow. It's only funny 'cause *I* said it.

It really is only funny because she said it... never heard that come out of a teacher's mouth, let alone MRob's...

roberts, jazz, band, face, hat, ugly, mrob