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Sept. 5, 2023, 7:54 a.m.

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Student: I don't like when school teachers interdate each other Student: It's like school incest. Student: like band kids don't date each other cuz of bandcest



May 23, 2022, 1:43 p.m.

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// no gum (or any food) allowed in band Oldham: I think there's a better place for that gum Student: in the trash? Oldham: yea Student: ...I just swallowed it Oldham: there's a joke to be made here



March 16, 2022, 1:23 p.m.

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Oldham: this isn't to embarrass anyone, it's just to see who I need to harass later



Jan. 27, 2022, 4:13 p.m.

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Ben Rozner: I hope to some day have as much confidence at Oldham has in our sightreading skills.



March 3, 2020, 7:50 p.m.

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// a student is singing something Oldham: Hey (student), who sings that song? Student: (artist's name) Oldham: Yeah, let's keep it that way.



Dec. 18, 2018, 10:56 a.m.

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//Albert is about to perform a duet in band Albert: This piece contains many un-timetable timings, un-glissable glisses, and - dare I say - un-dynamicable dynamics. This is intentional. All the mistakes you hear were carefully practiced to show the chaos and the sadness of the world.



Feb. 5, 2016, 6:47 p.m.

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//Students, at this time Griffin, are conducting Symphonic Band while Oldham handles playing tests in his office Griffin: Guys! I need complete silence to aid my creative processes! Hannah: You have none



Nov. 18, 2014, 11:23 p.m.

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//Symphonic band is practicing Havendance Mr. Oldham: "In the section starting at measure 23, I hear no dynamic contrast. It's just duh duh duh duh-duh. It's like I want to play Call of Duty and you guys want to play Pac-man."



Oct. 16, 2014, 9:40 p.m.

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//Monday in Symphonic Band: //Richard K. is holding a form Cynthia: Hey, what form is that? Richard: A form to sell my soul Cynthia: If you sell your soul I just might buy it Richard: Wait, why would you want my soul? Cynthia: *witch cackle* Michael Y.: You'd make a very good actress; that was like the perfect witch laugh Richard: No, you don't get it, that's her actual laugh



April 15, 2013, 7:38 p.m.

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//During concert band Stephens: Willie, are you sure you have the timpani music? Or is it the tuba part? Willie: Oh... this says flute.