Minas: It [The crab] was a couple of ounces. About a pound. //Later Minas: There are 16 ounces in a pound. Brendan: 16 is not a couple. Minas: Well, not all of the crab made it.
Minas: What is your moral reason for not liking fluorescent lights? Donaldson: They suck your soul.
//yelling at Minas Pham: If you keep on doing "ummmm, uhhhh, errrr," nobody listen to you!
Student: Are we supposed to memorize that? Pham: Memorize?! I never tell you memorize anything! All these years I do never memorize, you guy know that by now? Including the name. When you were ninth grade, when do I start know your name? Students: ..? Pham: NEVER! Minas: You knew my name when you started making fun of me. Andrea: You knew Michael and Rajan's names because you kept yelling at them.
Pham: If you go to Mexico, drink water, you get diarrhea instantly. Shirley: Instantly?! Minas: Plus or minus thirty minutes.
Emily: (melodramatically) Nobody wants to be my lab partner! Pham: Emily, I will be your lab partner. I knocking on your head all the time. And then you wish Minas was your partner.