//Period 8 sports statistics //Talking about why the Nationals suck Stein: It's their fanbase. Imagine you're in a religion that you've been very devout to for a very long time. And you work hard to be very devout and push through all the parts you don't like. Then all these new people come in and join the religion just because they think it's cool. Those are what Nats fans are like Reynald: Like a religion... You mean like a religion that starts with "p" and ends in "rotestant?" Stein: like 95 Reynald *interjects*: theses? Stein *continues*: percent of the fanbase suddenly shows up out of nowhere like "yay Nationals!!" and then they disappear the next day. 4% have given up on them, and 1% have hope.
(talking about religion in Genetics) Neo Zhao: you know that one god? Dana Muhmed: what? Neo Zhao: you know... like YeeHaw... Dana Muhmed: you mean Yahweh? Neo Zhao: Oh... That.
// Going around asking what religion everyone has Whitacre: Any Muslims? // No one raises their hand Whitacre: Well, I guess Trump's ban worked pretty well.
//Most of comparative religion was spent reading a chapter on the holiness of cows in India Daniel B: Class was pretty interesting today. Richard C: Yeah the chapter was pretty informative. Daniel B: Mhm, I thought it was really cool how there was an entire chapter on your mom in the book.
//Student enters late into Comp Religion and hands Whitacre a pass Whitacre: Why are you late? Student: I was sleeping... Whitacre: Then why did you wake up?? You should've just kept on sleeping. It's your body's way of telling you something. It's like, I tried today, I couldn't do it...I'll try again in 24 hours!
//Talking about karma in Comp Religion Whitacre: You don't want to be like Bambi's mother. BOOM! She's dead. She had bad karma.
Klein: So what do you think caused the banging? //Class remains silent Klein: Wow, that sounded awkward.
// Alice is complaining about not being allowed to do her Ceramics work in Religion Whitacre: In the famous words of Bugs Bunny: 'Ehhh, shuddup.'
//Talking about how our culture doesn't value non-human life Whitacre: In the pounds, if nobody adopts you, they just put you down. You don't see that in orphanages. Walk into an orphanage and pull out the lethal injections. "Hey, nobody got you this year; sorry Tommy." *splurt*
Whitacre: When I was taking that marriage class, these priests were talking about how to have a good family and be a good husband and all. It's like, how the hell do you know?