// Schwartz monologue I am technically qualified to teach Physics, by the way. You can get qualified to teach a subject by just taking a test. So I went to Schafer and asked "what's on the physics [qualifier] test?" He says "you took AP Physics in high school, right? And you majored in physics in college?" "Yeah." "Then just review what you learned in high school. You'll be fine." Now, in high school, I took AP Physics in 11th grade. And in 12th grade, I took another physics course that went into much more advanced stuff based on multivariable calculus. None of the test was what I studied, and none of what I studied was on the test. I study for the test; I'm about to open the test; I'm ready; I know how to apply Stoke's theorem to these things ... and I open the packet, and the first question is "what is entropy?" I don't know this. Entropy is something to do with heat, right?
Teacher: You want me to tell you a story? I'll tell you a story. A sex story? [Does creepy tongue-waving grin]