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Nov. 10, 2023, 12:14 p.m.

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Hannah You: I have analysis, which prepares for calc... Smolen: Thank you for calling it analysis and not "anal".



Sept. 21, 2023, 8:48 a.m.

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Kirk: I will eat this chicken sandwich if there is less than 1000 grams of mold on it. Kirk: I mean, two pounds is fine, right? You weight lifters know how much two pounds is, not that much. //later Kirk: So, we reach out to Bill Nye... and he dips [my chicken sandwich] in radioactive waste. Kirk: The mold no longer grows. It has a half-life of 6 days. Kirk: The sandwich was a very well-made sandwich. Radioactive waste can't mess it up. A chicken sandwich! //later Kirk: So it would take 20 days for the chicken sandwich to get to 1000g of mold, at which point I am willing to eat it. Student: Wouldn't it be easier to make another chicken sandwich? Kirk: No. It is a good chicken sandwich!

P2 Analysis B. Part 3 of the diffeq word problem from earlier. //mod note: merged with two related quotes, also the sandwich itself is probably <500 g

analysis, kirk



April 17, 2023, 12:39 p.m.

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Rose: it’s boring if this river is made of water. our cows will just cross it. so what’s our river made of? *after writing down a couple of suggestions* Rose: let’s stop before this goes any farther Rose: okay, so we’ve got our river of lava, meat, blood, and…uh, limbs Rose: …this may be too far already

I think the original suggestion was a meat factory rather than meat

analysis, rose



March 10, 2023, 2:24 p.m.

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Amber: I have 5 toes.

her toe did not indeed fall off! //mod note: per foot or on both feet?

analysis, amber



Dec. 7, 2022, 9:49 a.m.

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// Talking about how we call analysis "anal" Smolen: Friends, you have a place in the school called the SAC.



Oct. 31, 2022, 8:03 a.m.

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//people are wearing halloween costumes to school Isaiah: I should get a piece of paper and write "Analysis Exam" on it. I'd be the scariest thing in the entire school, no doubt.



June 15, 2022, 7:01 p.m.

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Schwartz: Sorry guys; you found the secret; all of calculus is a lie.



June 7, 2022, 5:23 p.m.

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//chaotic schwartz anthology, june 7 "You are immersed in fluid right now. ... I'm not sure why I'm saying 'you', when I should be saying 'we', for I, too, am immersed in fluid." "You are immersed in fluid at all times, so this is not just an everyday experience, but an every-moment experience. I'm glad I can connect maths class to your everyday lives." "They have another depth at their shoulders, which is where their arms meet their bodies, I guess, because that's how shoulders work." "These versions of Schafer and Davis are flat. They are cardboard cutouts of Schafer and Davis. This solves the problem of breathing." "This marker is a submersible -- in atmosphere. Every vehicle is a submersible. Your bicycle ... is a submarine."



May 31, 2022, 5:42 p.m.

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Schwartz: So here we have a tank of some liquid. Class: Hydrochloric acid! Schwartz: What? Oh, this is a different kind of tank problem. We're trying to drain the tank here. Hadar: But what about the magical Stevens and Isaiahs? Schwartz: Oh. They'll be drained out too.



May 31, 2022, 5:39 p.m.

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// Schwartz monologue I am technically qualified to teach Physics, by the way. You can get qualified to teach a subject by just taking a test. So I went to Schafer and asked "what's on the physics [qualifier] test?" He says "you took AP Physics in high school, right? And you majored in physics in college?" "Yeah." "Then just review what you learned in high school. You'll be fine." Now, in high school, I took AP Physics in 11th grade. And in 12th grade, I took another physics course that went into much more advanced stuff based on multivariable calculus. None of the test was what I studied, and none of what I studied was on the test. I study for the test; I'm about to open the test; I'm ready; I know how to apply Stoke's theorem to these things ... and I open the packet, and the first question is "what is entropy?" I don't know this. Entropy is something to do with heat, right?