#4453

55

Feb. 25, 2013, 4:57 p.m.

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//Ms. Backus is subbing in for Duval. Backus: I need you to write your names REALLY BIG, my eyes aren't as good as they used to be. Cathy: Ugh...

#4419

57

Feb. 5, 2013, 8:34 p.m.

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Duval: I have successfully not flicked off a student for 10 years. //Class applauds

#2716

3341

Dec. 22, 2010, 6:46 p.m.

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Senior: You know what class Shirley should take next semester? Maureen Bio.

#2563

44

Nov. 17, 2010, 6:34 p.m.

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Amir: I wonder what God's sperm would look like under a microscope

#1554

15

Feb. 25, 2010, 9:06 p.m.

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Mrs. Balla: So we take the chickens, a little wine, some candlelight... and BAM! we take a look at the eggs.

#1386

2123

Jan. 21, 2010, 7:19 p.m.

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Peter Q: [Bio is really complicated.] Why do you think biologists work 20 hours a day? Joseph: You mean 28 hours a day, don't you? Peter Q: No, those are the quantum physicists. Joseph: Oh right, because their first assignment is to invent a time machine. Peter Q: Right. We biologists just engineer cuttlefish to kidnap the physicists so that they build one for us.

#283

88

May 21, 2009, 9:38 p.m.

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Demma: Yeah, I totally introduce myself like "Hi, my name is Charlie and my brain is really wrinkled." You know why I use that line? 'Cause it weeds out anyone who is even a little bit normal.