Search Quotes
#5524
3939
⚐ Report//First Day of School Schafer: What am I going to do this year? Usually when there are two students with the same first names I call them by their last names, but I don't really feel comfortable doing that this year. I can call you "Mr. Zhu", but it doesn't work with him. *points to Daniel Schaffer*
#5491
3232
⚐ Report//In room 215, during lunch Non-magnet girl: S**t! //A loud clanging noise Girl: F**k! //Bends down and emerges with her water bottle Schafer: That was a lot of cursing for such a little thing like gravity. I mean, gravity is the weakest of the fundamental forces! If something happened with the strong force, then I'd understand. Girl: This is how I know I'm in a magnet classroom...
#5465
1212
⚐ Report//Quantum is taking a test //Someone's Siri goes off Schafer: She ain't gonna help you Siri: Sorry, I didn't get that. Schafer: See?
#5463
1111
⚐ Report//Admin and Hammond are derailing math phys. Teddy (to Admin): Can you hook me up with a two and a half week suspension? Admin: Just slug a teacher. Teddy: But I don't want to. Admin: If you don't want to do the work, I can't help you. //later in Math Phys Admin: We already interrupted Navarro's class, which was filled with just like 15 stupid sophomores. Schafer: Why did you use a redundancy there?
#5461
-11
⚐ Report//In Quantum, discussing homework. Question is about which states of matter will emit line spectra. Schafer: First of all, what's a line spectrum? Robbie: I interpreted it to mean the spectrum admitted by an excited gas.
#5444
88
⚐ Report//Alex Melinchok is holding a Chick-fil-A milkshake in Pd. 7 Quantum, and Schafer noticed Melinchok: "It's pretty good! It isn't as good as the one from Potbelly though. 'Cause Chick-fil-A doesn't really like gay people, that's probably why it doesn't taste as good. You get what I mean, Mr. Schafer?" (Schafer stares at Melinchok for a while, and then looks down at a textbook) Schafer: "...Chapter 27 question number 17, In Rutherford's planetary model of the atom..."
#5432
1315
⚐ Report//Excerpted and paraphrased due to memory lapses //Mr. Hammond walks into Quantum Schafer: I bet Mr. Hammond is coming in to force whomever hasn't signed up yet for PuzzlePalooza to sign up. Hammond: I am actually not going to do that. Schafer: Oh, well then, I'm sorry. Hammond: My feelings are hurt, Mr. Schafer. (continuing with class) Schafer: The atom is from the Greek "atomos"... Hammond: You got that from Donaldson. Schafer: No, I actually didn't. Hammond: Anything Greek is from Donaldson. Melinchok: I'm Greek! Hammond: Did you sign up for PuzzlePalooza yet? Melinchok: No, I didn't. I need to send the link to my friend. Hammond: You should just sign up without her. Melinchok: Ok, I'm signing up now. (fills in form on her phone) I'll put down my talents as "Greek" and (something else). Student: Isn't there a choice for "Other?" Hammond: There is. Mr. Schafer, did I tell you about the best Other I've seen so far? Schafer: No, what was it? Hammond: It was "the ability to lie and say that Justin Bieber is cool." (class laughs) Hammond: Hey, it isn't my fault that Mr. Ostrander has a man crush on Justin Bieber! ... Hammond: The first rule of Puzzle Lords is that there are no Puzzle Lords. Schafer: That is just wrong in so many ways. ... Hammond: (to Melinchok) do you follow the Puzzle Lords on Twitter? Melinchok: I unfollowed them because they kept on making annoying posts. Schafer: Did you just say you UNfollowed them? Is that even like a thing? That's like saying you unfriended someone, it just doesn't make sense. Hammond: And all of the annoying posts are by Mr. Stein! Melinchok: Oh, I unfollowed him too. (class laughs) Melinchok: Ok..I'll follow the Puzzle Lords, but... (brief pause) Schafer: You'd better be really careful with what you say next. Melinchok: But whenever I see an annoying post, I'll...scroll right past it and pretend that I never saw it! Hammond: ...Someone must be submitting this to Blairbash right now. ... Melinchok: What does it mean, the prizes are huge? Like are they literally huge, or what? Schafer: Well, there are many ways a prize could be huge. Like it could be really big, and you say, "Wow, that's huge." Or it could be about this big (holds his hands about 8 inches apart) but you look at it and you go, "Wow, that's a huge prize." Or its name could be huge, like Huge the Hamster. We haven't done that one yet though.
#5411
1717
⚐ Report//Playing with a very intractable circuit simulator in MathPhys Arjuna: I am annoyed with this! Schafer: Ok. In other news, the sun will come out tomorrow, the pope is catholic, and there's turmoil in the Middle East.
#5307
66
⚐ ReportSchafer: I really love watching golf Student: Yeah, it's really interesting if you watch it carefully. Schafer: No, it's because I get the best naps. There's this beautiful scenery, it's so tranquil and quiet, I'm laid back watching and then suddenly *snore*