#5302

68

Dec. 9, 2014, 9:24 p.m.

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//Klein is discussing a Finnish volleyball coach, whom he invited to a restaurant in thanks for coaching the volleyball team for a day. //When quoting the Finnish coach, Klein lowers his voice until it is very hefty and thick Mr. Klein: "Some of his statements were golden, though. Like when he was talking about inviting me to Finland, 'we'll visit the sauna, then we'll swim in the ice lake' because apparently he has an ice lake in his backyard 'and then we'll go back to the sauna, and back to the ice lake, and...' and I'm just like, 'dude, that'll give me a heart attack! And like, shock!' And he was like 'Hmm, yea. My 12-year-old daughter would probably fare better than you.' And I said, 'so you're saying that I'm as tough as a 12-year-old girl?' And he responded 'No, she's tougher.'"

#5301

66

Dec. 9, 2014, 6:19 p.m.

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Mr. Klein: "Later McMurphy discusses how he loses his virginity. We haven't gotten to that part yet. When we do, we're going to discuss and analyze it in detail." //Class snickers Mr. Klein: "Wait no, not that kind of detail!"

#4308

99

Nov. 15, 2012, 6:59 p.m.

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Anderson: So just write down whatever Bigger ate in this section. Student 1 (whispering): Bigger had sex with Bessie.. does that mean he ate.. Student 2: Just shut up.

#4247

1616

Oct. 11, 2012, 9:04 p.m.

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Anderson: (asking the students to answer a question at the end of class) I want you to think... //Bell rings, students starts getting up Anderson: Oh, oh no, oh HELLLLLLL no!

#4132

1418

May 8, 2012, 4:09 p.m.

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//In Lang, Adam shows Ms. Gross a picture of shirtless Mark Twain that he had taken for a joke Gross: Oh my GOD. Adam: Stunning, right? Gross: Yeah... I dunno if I can sleep tonight. At least you know he was rich now though. Adam: What? Gross: Hairy chest equals rich man. //Hailey is staring questioningly at this conversation Gross: What? It's true. Look at you. Barechested and broke. //Gross looks down her shirt Gross: LOOK AT MY BROKE ASS! No chest hair! Although I see some money coming in the near future... I've had a long day guys.

#4025

1919

March 9, 2012, 5:21 p.m.

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//In a Lang class with Erin Hedlund and Aaron Meyer; they keep getting confused over whether Gross is saying "Aaron" or "Erin" Gross: Aaron, I've decided to call you "double A." Aaron: What? Why me? Gross: Because. Now it won't be confusing. Aaron: But I'm not going to remember that you're calling me that now! Gross: You'll be fine. You've been demoted to a bra size, that's all. //Awkward silence Gross: Ouch. It's not even a good bra size.

#4011

1616

March 1, 2012, 6:05 p.m.

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Gross: Good morning-ish. Today we will be talking about boobs.

#3980

1919

Feb. 19, 2012, 10:28 a.m.

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Gross: His name sounds sort of Latin! And what do we know about Russians? THEY LOVE ORGIES! //Sam and Max are appalled Gross: What? Oh, no, I meant ROMANS! ROMANS LOVE ORGIES!

#3871

2323

Jan. 3, 2012, 5:55 p.m.

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//Discussing winter break in AP Lang Evan: I got a shock ball. Gross: What's that? Evan: It's this ball that shocks people. You throw it around in a circle of friends and it goes off at random times. Gross: One, why would they make that? Two, why would they give it to you? And three, most importantly, where are YOU going to find a circle of friends?

#3113

77

March 19, 2011, 4:10 p.m.

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//in AP Lang, after suggesting the class watch a biography of Hemingway backwards so it would have a happy ending Horne (narrating): And then [Hemingway] became a very small transvestite.