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June 4, 2019, 8:42 a.m.

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//2nd period Sloe, sophomore bio Max: Who hurt you, Inspirobot?



May 23, 2019, 1:16 p.m.

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//Watching a presentation in bio Shariar: Local organisms Subtitles: Local orgasms Sloe: Local orgasms Max: Outsource your orgasms to China



March 28, 2019, 11:01 a.m.

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//ADSB, Max just ran his program //Max points at message that says "Finished after 0.018 seconds" Max: Just like Carlos



Jan. 3, 2019, 9:14 a.m.

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Noam: Jesus, Homer's such a trash writer. None of his language has any deeper meaning. How are we supposed to analyze it. Let's just make stuff up. *Max and Noam look at the passage for a couple minutes* Max: "O Hermes, ever with your golden wand" Max: I'm pretty sure she's referring to something else



Nov. 28, 2018, 8:55 p.m.

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//Max is trying to find 4chan Max: Whoops, accidentally went to a porn site

apparently it is not

porn, max



Nov. 21, 2018, 11:39 a.m.

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Oscar: Is that mouse thing in the middle really called a nipple mouse? Where'd that come from? Max: Well, it's fun to play with



June 10, 2018, 9:45 a.m.

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//Carlos Max and Noam are half asleep at 3 am, talking about girls Noam: So Carlos, why are your tastes so weird? Carlos: Have you ever seen Ratatouille? Max: What does that have to do with anything? Carlos: So like, the rat cooks something disgusting for a critic, and the critic starts crying cause it reminded him of his family. I'm like the food critic, only weird. Noam: Wait, what?



Oct. 1, 2014, 8:16 p.m.

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//At bakery in Four Corners buying cake for Jake Yamada's birthday right after selecting cake Cashier Lady: So would you like to pay $1.50 for writing on it? Max: Yeah, we'll get one Cashier Lady: So what do you want it to say? Shubham: Happy Birthday Scrub Cashier Lady: So how do you spell that? Robert: S-C-R-U-B, and in pink icing



March 12, 2013, 6:45 p.m.

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Max: You shouldn't take antibiotics at all! Stelzner: So what should I do, just bleed it out? Use leeches? That's what they did in the 1700s. Allison: Yeah, and they lived long, prosperous lives in the 1700s!



March 12, 2013, 10:01 a.m.

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Shubham: Stupid Macs! Max: Shut up.