#1618

77

March 9, 2010, 5:31 p.m.

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//talking to the freshmen Hammond: So if dachshunds are hot dogs, corgis are the Polish kielbasa of dogs.

#1409

11

Jan. 28, 2010, 7:35 a.m.

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Stein: Who knows how to play quarter basketball? //nobody raises their hand Stein: You all are the most ignorant group of people I have ever met! Hammond: This is what we did when it rained in elementary school!

#1291

57

Jan. 11, 2010, 9:48 a.m.

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Hammond: I love it when newspapers stick their neck out there. "Violence is bad!" Thank you, editorial page.

#1260

22

Jan. 5, 2010, 9:38 a.m.

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Student, imitating Hinkle: I have no problem with it, as long as you don't take it out of context. Hammond: Of course you're taking it out of context! It's BlairBash!

#1259

911

Jan. 5, 2010, 9:35 a.m.

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Shirley: Gibi and I hold each other in high esteem. Hammond: I saw you two punching each other. Shirley: What? Hammond: You know... *flails his hand* Shirley: That was the sysop handshake! We came up with it last year. Hammond: That's a quote, if I ever heard one. "You can tell we like each other because we punch each other."

#1206

22

Dec. 17, 2009, 12:44 p.m.

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//working on a crossword puzzle with theme "Noah's Ark" Schafer: There are two of every animal! Stein: I didn't realize they were animals! Hammond: Of course! He didn't bring two of each stamp!

#1154

37

Dec. 14, 2009, 8:50 a.m.

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*Hammond walks into his office, which adjoins the sysop room* Hammond: I hear angry music! Are we angry this morning, or are we just preemptively assuaging our anger? *Shirley and Jacob laugh* Hammond: I hear chuckling, but I don't hear answering. *Hammond walks over; the music changes* Hammond: Ah, now it's less angry. Shirley: Yeah, it switches back and forth. Hammond: And so do real people!

#1072

77

Dec. 7, 2009, 4:23 p.m.

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Pham: We used to have the black Mr. Hammond, except we calling him Mr. Bishop. Maybe somewhere. Maybe you don't know.

#1039

55

Dec. 4, 2009, 7:56 a.m.

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Hammond: The one who's blond or the one who's Latina? Shirley: Not blond. Hammond: Then the one with the Latina name. Jacob: As opposed to the blond name? Hammond: Stop being smart.

#919

22

Nov. 23, 2009, 7:35 p.m.

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Templin: That’s what I was gonna say. Hammond: Except you banged your head too many times in the car. Templin: That’s why I’m not a physics teacher.