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#10214

1012

March 9, 2022, 8:49 a.m.

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Delaney: "She definitely has to have a big d because she has the disease."

#10193

1818

March 8, 2022, 7:58 a.m.

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//Delaney talking about his hockey game last night where someone on the other team argued with the ref. Delaney: This man got 30 minutes worth of penalties AFTER THE MATCH ENDED because he couldn't shut his mouth. Delaney: He was just going off on the ref, talking about male genetalia and what he could do with it too. Delaney: Pretty much the most amazing display of "dumb man" thing I have ever seen in my life.

#10185

1919

March 7, 2022, 4:14 p.m.

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Delaney: I had a professor who would bring a potato gun, and when someone fell asleep in class -- which did happen -- he would shoot the potato gun at them. Will: So your professor was an asshole? Delaney: Yeah, but he was fun. Student: Is that legal? Delaney: It's college.

#10184

99

March 7, 2022, 4:12 p.m.

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//chaotic delaney anthology, march 7 "Bowties are cool." "When I was a small lad -- difficult to imagine, I realise ..." *sketches DNA* "Here's a gene that we have in our DNA, aptly labelled 'BAD'." "My wife and I were having trouble getting a baby the old-fashioned way. 'You're doing it wrong!' -- thanks, Dad." "You live, you die, you spend your entire life in the liver, doing livery things." "I'm gonna get, like, a potato gun, and start shooting people."

#10141

1313

March 3, 2022, 3:56 p.m.

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Delaney: Why are you black?

#10117

1515

March 1, 2022, 5:22 p.m.

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Delaney: Look at how I'm able to expend all this energy to maintain this giant plumage, and not get sick. Delaney: Do you see any parasites? There are no parasites. Delaney: Check out how awesome I am.

about sexual reproduction and peacocks

delaney, bio

#10091

1818

Feb. 28, 2022, 8:53 a.m.

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//Explaining why people look a lot like their parents Delaney: That's why my daughter looks a lot like me which is a terrible shame to her.

#10084

1717

Feb. 25, 2022, 4:01 p.m.

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Delaney: If you use your time wisely, you can finish quickly, and get to do some math review. Sean: But are teenagers known for using their time wisely?

#10083

1111

Feb. 25, 2022, 4 p.m.

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Delaney: How many of you have math tests today? //many students raise hand Delaney: Here's the deal -- does anyone want to make a deal with me? Delaney: Here's a blank check ...

#10069

1212

Feb. 24, 2022, 1:06 p.m.

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// Delaney walks in, everybody starts clapping // Clapping dies out Duval: He's still in here, what is wrong with you guys? // Everyone claps again Duval: So what're you guys -- Everyone: *claps* Duval: What are you -- Everyone: *claps again*