Search Quotes
#10193
1818
⚐ Report//Delaney talking about his hockey game last night where someone on the other team argued with the ref. Delaney: This man got 30 minutes worth of penalties AFTER THE MATCH ENDED because he couldn't shut his mouth. Delaney: He was just going off on the ref, talking about male genetalia and what he could do with it too. Delaney: Pretty much the most amazing display of "dumb man" thing I have ever seen in my life.
#10185
1919
⚐ ReportDelaney: I had a professor who would bring a potato gun, and when someone fell asleep in class -- which did happen -- he would shoot the potato gun at them. Will: So your professor was an asshole? Delaney: Yeah, but he was fun. Student: Is that legal? Delaney: It's college.
#10184
99
⚐ Report//chaotic delaney anthology, march 7 "Bowties are cool." "When I was a small lad -- difficult to imagine, I realise ..." *sketches DNA* "Here's a gene that we have in our DNA, aptly labelled 'BAD'." "My wife and I were having trouble getting a baby the old-fashioned way. 'You're doing it wrong!' -- thanks, Dad." "You live, you die, you spend your entire life in the liver, doing livery things." "I'm gonna get, like, a potato gun, and start shooting people."
#10117
1515
⚐ ReportDelaney: Look at how I'm able to expend all this energy to maintain this giant plumage, and not get sick. Delaney: Do you see any parasites? There are no parasites. Delaney: Check out how awesome I am.
#10091
1818
⚐ Report//Explaining why people look a lot like their parents Delaney: That's why my daughter looks a lot like me which is a terrible shame to her.
#10084
1717
⚐ ReportDelaney: If you use your time wisely, you can finish quickly, and get to do some math review. Sean: But are teenagers known for using their time wisely?
#10083
1111
⚐ ReportDelaney: How many of you have math tests today? //many students raise hand Delaney: Here's the deal -- does anyone want to make a deal with me? Delaney: Here's a blank check ...
#10069
1212
⚐ Report// Delaney walks in, everybody starts clapping // Clapping dies out Duval: He's still in here, what is wrong with you guys? // Everyone claps again Duval: So what're you guys -- Everyone: *claps* Duval: What are you -- Everyone: *claps again*