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Dec. 21, 2023, 4:07 p.m.

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//Caleb, now an alumnus, sneaks into Organic Chemistry; Hart doesn't notice for at least a minute Hart, noticing: It's Caleb! //Entire class erupts in thunderous applause Hart: You're our guest lecturer for today. Caleb: Uh, okay ... //later -- we had recently made silver-plated glass ornaments Hart: We should make Caleb an ornament! Caleb: ... yes, you should turn me into an ornament.



Dec. 22, 2022, 4:06 p.m.

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Schwartz: The fun thing about alumni returning is that they realise that the things the teachers were telling them are true. //later, multivariable calculus and ducks on the board Schwartz, erasing: Nooo! You shouldn't see that. The ducks can stay. The alumni came in and drew ducks. Schwartz, later: I am trying to draw around the ducks. We'll see how long I can keep this up. Schwartz, later: I'm gonna turn this into a thrice-iterated integral, killing some ducks in the process -- and decapitating another one in the process. //later, Schwartz justifying his forgetting the names of alumni Schwartz: I also have a family, and about five people I knew from college who I still hang out with. //students audibly amazed



Jan. 5, 2010, 5:37 p.m.

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//A bunch of Blair alumni guys from the Blair senior class of 2009 come to visit during their winter break, while Mr. Schafer is teaching freshman physics Schafer: So, *turns to Student 1* where do you go now? Student 1: Carnegie Mellon. Schafer: How is it? Student 1: It's good. Schafer: See, I'm doing an experiment to see how my former students are-- Student 2: You can experiment with me! Schafer: [...] Awkward. *turns back to teach giggling freshman*