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Nov. 9, 2023, 8:07 p.m.

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// 9th period multivar, 3:19; people are packing up Schwartz: why are you packing up? class isn't over yet! // sentence is punctuated by ringing of bell



Nov. 3, 2023, 3:37 p.m.

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Schwartz: Any questions? Schwartz: I don’t know why I’m asking for questions. You shouldn’t have any questions. This isn’t related to class at all.



Feb. 27, 2023, 12:43 p.m.

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Schwartz: Your exam will be on march 6 and 7. Schwartz: I keep thinking: "there's something happening on march 6 and 7, but I can't remember what it is." Schwartz: I remembered this morning -- that's the day the yoghurt I was eating expires. Schwartz: We can take an exam on the day my yoghurt expires.



Feb. 16, 2023, 7:09 p.m.

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//Schwartz holds up a large plastic hoop Schwartz: I have a stuff-detector. It detects stuff. When stuff goes thru it, it will detect the stuff. Class: Wow //Schwartz opens the window and holds up stuff-detector to it Schwartz: This is a stuff-provider. It brings in stuff, like wind. The stuff-detector will go "waah!" [wiggles hoop excitedly] Class: Wow //later Schwartz: I could fit the stuff-detector in the window, if only this bottle [on the water-dispenser] weren't here. Schwartz: It's almost empty -- does anyone need water? //various students take water excitedly //eventually one of them takes the last of it, Schwartz removes the bottle in amazement Schwartz, mounting hoop in bottle's place: Now I have a stuff-detector stand! //Entire class erupts in thunderous applause



Feb. 8, 2023, 7:35 p.m.

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Schwartz: We don't need data! We don't need experiments! Schwartz: We can prove, from pure theory, that work over a path is the difference in kinetic energy. Schwartz: Take that, science!

but i thought you said maths is strong and independent and don't need no real-world applications

mathphys, multivar, schwartz



Feb. 2, 2023, 3:30 p.m.

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//playing video of cat playing with ball in track to illustrate path integration Schwartz: As you learned back in Freshman Physics, dogs know calculus. Schwartz: Cats know calculus too, they just don't do it.



Jan. 10, 2023, 5:26 p.m.

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Schwartz: The first example is finding the volume of a sphere with triple integration. Schwartz: It's fine, that works. Let's do the harder example. //Hammond bursts in Hammond: Lies! All lies! //later Hammond, holding up a type of laptop: The problem with these is you can't trust students not to steal them. Hammond: You know I'm joking, right? Don't go home and say "the teacher said that we're not trustworthy!" Schwartz: Well, of course they're not trustworthy. They're teenagers. Hammond: Ageist! Schwartz: Developmentalist! Some people are 30 and they're still "teenagers". //later, Hammond examining the whiteboard's ρ^2 sin φ dρ dθ dφ Hammond: There's too much Greek here. //later, Schwartz drawing and explaining a 3D shape Schwartz: This is an ice-cream cone. Hammond: No, that's the Eye of Sauron! //later Schwartz: Let's not blindfold our ice-cream cone.



Dec. 22, 2022, 4:06 p.m.

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Schwartz: The fun thing about alumni returning is that they realise that the things the teachers were telling them are true. //later, multivariable calculus and ducks on the board Schwartz, erasing: Nooo! You shouldn't see that. The ducks can stay. The alumni came in and drew ducks. Schwartz, later: I am trying to draw around the ducks. We'll see how long I can keep this up. Schwartz, later: I'm gonna turn this into a thrice-iterated integral, killing some ducks in the process -- and decapitating another one in the process. //later, Schwartz justifying his forgetting the names of alumni Schwartz: I also have a family, and about five people I knew from college who I still hang out with. //students audibly amazed



Dec. 20, 2022, 9:10 a.m.

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Schwartz: we're out of spatial dimensions! We can't perceive any more! Schwartz: or, I don't think anyone in this room can... If you can, tell me, because that sounds cool



Dec. 9, 2022, 3:58 p.m.

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Schwartz: Pick a number between 0 and 2. Student: 3!