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Feb. 24, 2023, 8:17 a.m.

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Diego: My old headphones, if you hit it once, it pauses, if you hit it twice, it skips the song, and if you hit it three times, it raises or lowers the volume depending on which ear you tap. Diego: On my new headphones, when I hit it once, sometimes it pauses, sometimes it changes the volume, and sometimes it calls my mom.



Dec. 19, 2022, 3:07 p.m.

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Diego, after stalking Mr Lodal's family: How is it a bad thing to be a professional stalker?



Nov. 30, 2022, 10:42 a.m.

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Diego: There's a statistician at my dad's office who makes more money from gambling than his job at the office.



Nov. 14, 2022, 9:32 a.m.

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Stein: There is a chance that this week will be the best week of your life. Diego: I have determined that chance to be statistically insignificant.



Nov. 3, 2022, 3:52 p.m.

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// Diego is visiting cellphys; Delaney stares him down as he walks out Solomon: What if he wants to learn? Delaney: Then he’s in the wrong class.



Oct. 28, 2022, 9:35 a.m.

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*Isaiah and Sameer are talking about the recent knowledge celebration* Stein: Diego is talking about his favorite breakfast while you two are off talking about your test. Stein: This is clearly more important.



Oct. 18, 2022, 9:48 a.m.

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// Homework about an experiment with parachutes Stein: So what did you pick as your experimental units? Andy: Stein! Diego: Supporters of communism! Stein: I chose Nationals fans. // Later Stein: What would the placebo be? Diego: For the real parachute, if you pull the cord a parachute gets released from the bag. Diego: For the fake parachute, if you pull the cord, it just plays the national anthem.



Oct. 10, 2022, 9:35 a.m.

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Stein: What's the difference between Diego's method and Sameer's method? Diego: It's better.



Oct. 7, 2022, 2:43 p.m.

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Diego: Coming soon to a peninsula near you: hurricanes



Sept. 29, 2022, 2:40 p.m.

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//Henry and Sameer are sitting at a table with cards Henry: Give us a game to play Diego: Russian roulette //Laughter Diego: You didn't specify what kind of game