Street: You need to sacrifice small animals to the Zoom Gods, and keep up your Zoom Karma.
// praising students for completing assignment early Street: I'm gonna give you a raise: you get 50% more salary than you've been getting for my class. Street: Of course, it's tough that 50% of zero is still zero, but it was worth a try.
// attendance Street: [Student]? // student turns off camera Student: Not here. Street: Good.
Street: You didn't rush over to YouTube? You didn't beat down the door, saying "Oh my god, Mr Street made a video; I gotta see it!"
Street: I mean, I just don't like anybody. Student: Wait, then ... why do you have a wife? Street: Yeah, good question. I'm not sure why she puts up with me!
Student: Im trying to fix [a microphone] right now Street: I have a hammer, if you want to borrow it, to fix it ... Street: ... hammer fixes most everything ...
Street: So anybody that thinks that five is a lot -- we could increase it for you and make it ten. Street: And then you'd really cry.
// explaining the reasons behind an assignment/project Street: Well, we don't like you, and we would like to make you miserable. Street: That's reason number one.
Street: I'll tell you when driving a car by yourself gets really helpful and desirable: when you're on a date. // student says something about being driven by a friend to a date Street: You're gonna have your *friend* drive you -- on a *date*! Sure! Good plan.
Street: Just a little piece of history -- Mr. Ostrander used to be good at handing out abuse. // a bit later Street: Nothing illegal -- just mental abuse.