Search Quotes
#11271
66
⚐ Report//after Ostrander walks in and doesn't get cake because he didn't prove the FTC Schwartz: If anyone says that you don't need to know calculus -- here's the reason: Schwartz: if you walk into a classroom and you can only have cake if you know the FTC, you can have cake.
#11210
99
⚐ ReportSchwartz: We're just completing the square to find the vertex of a parabola. Schwartz: You've been doing this since you were, like, 7, or whenever you took Algebra.
#11209
66
⚐ Report// f_x h + f_y k Schwartz: I want to give this expression a name. What should we name this expression? Student 1: Kevin Student 2: Kevin Junior Schwartz: Excellent! This is so much better than my earlier classes. Schwartz: My period 1 class named it z, and my period 6 class named it θ. Those are lame names.
#11202
77
⚐ ReportSchwartz: I have 60 sandwich-tops of bamboo. Schwartz: That is a new sentence of Homo sapiens. I don't think anyone has said that before. Schwartz: If anyone says that in the future, they need to pay royalties.
#11184
66
⚐ ReportSchwartz: We had problems [in single-variable optimisation] in which we built fences for animals we could farm. Schwartz: What is an animal we can farm? Student: Pigs Schwartz: All of my classes first thought of pigs. That's boring. Schwartz: We could have chosen chinchillas, but I guess I'm a pig farmer. Schwartz: I could have farmed velociraptors.
#11165
57
⚐ ReportSchwartz, struggling to hold objects for a visual: If I have enough hands for this -- well, I'm not changing the number of hands I have. Schwartz, later: This was easier when I could use my teeth. Andy: Imagine him saying that 40 years from now.
#10932
66
⚐ ReportSchwartz: Pick a unit of length! Class: Metres Schwartz: You guys are so boring. You could have picked teaspoons per hectare, or something. Too late. ... Pick a unit of time! Class: Seconds Schwartz: Ugh, you guys are killing me.