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Dec. 5, 2022, 5:38 p.m.

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//after Ostrander walks in and doesn't get cake because he didn't prove the FTC Schwartz: If anyone says that you don't need to know calculus -- here's the reason: Schwartz: if you walk into a classroom and you can only have cake if you know the FTC, you can have cake.



March 22, 2022, 5:45 p.m.

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//a student served cake (for L'Hôpital project) to the class Stephen: I didn't get a utensil, and I got it in a cup. Schwartz: Drink it!



Nov. 30, 2021, 5:27 p.m.

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Schwartz: I am getting a large knife. Please, everyone -- don't do dumb things. //later Schwartz: Don't take a piece of cake if eating it would cause you to die. That's my advice.



Nov. 30, 2021, 5:26 p.m.

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Schwartz: If someone asks "why do you need to know calculus?" ... it's because if you're asked to write something weird like this on a cake -- you'll recognise, "oh, that's the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus."



Oct. 1, 2014, 8:16 p.m.

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//At bakery in Four Corners buying cake for Jake Yamada's birthday right after selecting cake Cashier Lady: So would you like to pay $1.50 for writing on it? Max: Yeah, we'll get one Cashier Lady: So what do you want it to say? Shubham: Happy Birthday Scrub Cashier Lady: So how do you spell that? Robert: S-C-R-U-B, and in pink icing



Oct. 5, 2010, 6:54 p.m.

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Mr. Schafer: The nice thing about forces are that they are like an extra layer on top of everything we already know about physics. It's kind of like the frosting on a cake. Students: But we don't like frosting! Mr. Schafer: Okay, then it's like chocolate syrup on ice cream. Students: We don't like that either! Mr. Schafer: Then it's like a free extra topping on a pizza...