//after Ostrander walks in and doesn't get cake because he didn't prove the FTC Schwartz: If anyone says that you don't need to know calculus -- here's the reason: Schwartz: if you walk into a classroom and you can only have cake if you know the FTC, you can have cake.
Schwartz: You thought that the FTC was the best part of the class. Schwartz: It was the best part at the time. Schwartz: And it's all downhill from here.
Schwartz: I am getting a large knife. Please, everyone -- don't do dumb things. //later Schwartz: Don't take a piece of cake if eating it would cause you to die. That's my advice.
Schwartz: If someone asks "why do you need to know calculus?" ... it's because if you're asked to write something weird like this on a cake -- you'll recognise, "oh, that's the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus."
Schwartz: Next class will be great. The next math class will be the best day of your life. Everything in life will be downhill from your next math class. //later Schwartz: If you're already familiar with the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus -- sorry! You ruined your life!
// In a group gchat discussing bringing food to FTC day Laura: Will anyone drink soda if I bring it? Kevin: No Kevin: I need to stay asleep for period 8 Smith.
//Schwartz is handing out pieces of leftover FTC cookie-cake to 9th period Analysis II. Sam: I'm taking a second piece for Kejin [his girlfriend]. Schwartz: You'll give her the bigger one if you know what's good for you.