#3838

1313

Dec. 7, 2011, 5:41 p.m.

⚐ Report

Mufasa: I wanted to join philosophy club, but there were never any meetings. Thomas: We just think about them in the abstract.

#3792

44

Nov. 18, 2011, 7:54 a.m.

⚐ Report

Richard: He has two monocles! Thomas: You mean glasses?

#3728

1111

Oct. 30, 2011, 1:54 p.m.

⚐ Report

Bob: Why are you bleeding? Jason: I don't know. Thomas: His blood pressure is higher than atmospheric pressure. Mufasa: That's such a bad reason.

#3727

55

Oct. 30, 2011, 1:53 p.m.

⚐ Report

Thomas: It won't burn you if you juggle it.

#3579

3438

Sept. 19, 2011, 6:47 p.m.

⚐ Report

Thomas: What's a pirates favorite element? Evan: Arrrrrgon. Thomas: No, gold. What's a pirate's favorite felony? Evan: ARRRRRson? Thomas: No, piracy, you idiot. Evan: Do they use LimewiARRRRRR?

#3572

1414

Sept. 18, 2011, 8:01 p.m.

⚐ Report

Anderson: I used to pick on students randomly, but then someone said, "That's not random, that's arbitrary." So now I use a random number generator. Thomas: It's pseudo-random.

#3560

77

Sept. 15, 2011, 6:27 p.m.

⚐ Report

Zachary: Ms. Thomas, what movie are we watching? Thomas: Your face! Zachary: That's literally the sexiest movie ever!

#3471

8185

June 26, 2011, 1:50 p.m.

⚐ Report

Loomis: It's pyrite. Wait, no it's not. Thomas: It's fool's pyrite!

#3456

1212

June 10, 2011, 4:21 p.m.

⚐ Report

Thomas: I couldn't think of a better idea if I WASN'T on drugs!

#3413

88

May 25, 2011, 2:15 p.m.

⚐ Report

Thomas: Last year, there were some kids in my 7th and 8th period who smelled like they were smoking pot somewhere. Neil Dalal: Oh yeah! like the tennis courts down there! Thomas: Wait, how do you know that? Neil Dalal: Well, I got offered some.