#9579

2424

Dec. 10, 2021, 9:17 a.m.

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Schwartz: You guys, focus on nutrition and fitness! Schwartz: Everyone knows alcohol, tobacco, and drugs is for analysis 2!

#9561

1212

Dec. 8, 2021, 3:46 p.m.

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//while drawing a number line with stick figures on it Schwartz: See, there are people at each of these points. Actually, there are infinite people and not just at those points. It's like..... a blob of flesh. Continuous flesh. Schwartz: (pauses) Schwartz: And that is the idea of an integral!

#9546

68

Dec. 8, 2021, 9:02 a.m.

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Student: Wait, is this due next class? Student: Yay, I can procrastinate! Schwartz: No. Student: NOOOOO

#9530

66

Dec. 7, 2021, 11:07 a.m.

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// period 4 analysis 2 schwartz: ...and all these elevators form... a tombstone. piety: wait, elevators going on tracks make a tombstone? are you trying to make a point about elevator safety? // a short time later schwartz: ...and adding all of these tombstones up, we get... schwartz: a volume. piety: a graveyard?

#9489

810

Dec. 2, 2021, 4:16 p.m.

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Schwartz: Your opinion may be wrong! There is a correct answer here.

#9488

77

Dec. 2, 2021, 4:14 p.m.

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Schwartz: This is like memorising your times tables when you were two years old ... or whenever you learned multiplication.

#9459

1818

Nov. 30, 2021, 5:27 p.m.

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Schwartz: I am getting a large knife. Please, everyone -- don't do dumb things. //later Schwartz: Don't take a piece of cake if eating it would cause you to die. That's my advice.

#9458

1416

Nov. 30, 2021, 5:26 p.m.

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Schwartz: If someone asks "why do you need to know calculus?" ... it's because if you're asked to write something weird like this on a cake -- you'll recognise, "oh, that's the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus."

#9426

6565

Nov. 23, 2021, 7:58 p.m.

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//Santi comes to class drinking from big mcdonalds soda cup that may or may not have been purchased off campus at lunch Schwartz: I hope you brought that from home this morning. Santi: I found it on the floor. Schwartz: Okay, good- wait. No.

#9419

2020

Nov. 22, 2021, 2:10 p.m.

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Schwartz: Next class will be great. The next math class will be the best day of your life. Everything in life will be downhill from your next math class. //later Schwartz: If you're already familiar with the Fundamental Theorem of Calculus -- sorry! You ruined your life!