#9322

88

Nov. 11, 2021, 12:28 p.m.

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// Anal 1 exam last minute cram session, student decides to ask about integrals and curves despite not being on the exam Student: Mr. Schwartz, how would you find the area... Schwartz: NOPE. I have NO CLUE what you're talking about. Student: -under the curve... Schwartz: That's silly! Student: What about the asymptotes... Schwartz: *We're not there yet.* Shhhhhhhh!

#9308

911

Nov. 10, 2021, 8:27 a.m.

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// Schwartz talking about antiderivs Schwartz: So the derivative is a natural log cabin right? Class: Yes? Schwartz: WRONG!!! YOU FORGOT TO ADD THE C! Schwartz: When you add the c you have a houseboat!

#9300

1010

Nov. 9, 2021, 12:08 a.m.

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// Schwartz vid about differentials Schwartz: Sort of...they're fractions... Schwartz: They're not! They're not fractions! Schwartz: Except they kind of are fractions... Schwartz: They kinda are right?

#9288

814

Nov. 7, 2021, 12:55 a.m.

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// Discussing Newton's method and approximation Alex L.: We can use the Taylor series! Schwartz: NO! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! *Schwartz vaporizes Alex with laser beam eyes*

#9274

-511

Nov. 5, 2021, 12:16 p.m.

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// 2 students discussing optimization during lunch in Schwartz, also talking about grades Student: Man I'm so sad that I got a B Schwartz: Suck it up! // Some time later Schwartz: You're doing fine!

#9258

1212

Nov. 2, 2021, 7:36 p.m.

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// Schwartz explaining Newton's method Schwartz: You have to HOPE HARDER! Schwartz: If you didn't get a root, you didn't hope hard enough!

#9240

77

Oct. 28, 2021, 4:13 p.m.

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Schwartz: Nothing about that was clear, but did you get it anyway?

#9234

-17

Oct. 26, 2021, 4:13 p.m.

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Schwartz: Alright: back to our ivory tower. That was a fun jaunt into the real world.

#9233

311

Oct. 26, 2021, 4:11 p.m.

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Schwartz: You're not gonna submit an English paper without punctuation ... unless it's a modern poetry assignment. This is not a modern poetry assignment! I expect punctuation!

#9227

46

Oct. 22, 2021, 4:05 p.m.

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Schwartz: Show each other more respect than you show the teacher. I'm the teacher -- I don't need respect! I'm paid for this -- I get money instead of respect.