Search Quotes
#1259
911
⚐ ReportShirley: Gibi and I hold each other in high esteem. Hammond: I saw you two punching each other. Shirley: What? Hammond: You know... *flails his hand* Shirley: That was the sysop handshake! We came up with it last year. Hammond: That's a quote, if I ever heard one. "You can tell we like each other because we punch each other."
#1254
810
⚐ Report//Shirley, who recently got a haircut, walks into Math Phys Kamal: Hey, Shirley got a haircut! Shirley: Actually, I was hit by a train. Mikey: Whoa, really?!? Wait, you got hit by a train?! Actually, that's highly improbable. [...]
#1164
1717
⚐ Report//talking about an alumnus Pham: I forgot her name. She Asian. Shirley: That narrows it down to about 600.
#1154
37
⚐ Report*Hammond walks into his office, which adjoins the sysop room* Hammond: I hear angry music! Are we angry this morning, or are we just preemptively assuaging our anger? *Shirley and Jacob laugh* Hammond: I hear chuckling, but I don't hear answering. *Hammond walks over; the music changes* Hammond: Ah, now it's less angry. Shirley: Yeah, it switches back and forth. Hammond: And so do real people!
#1140
88
⚐ ReportSchafer: $25. It's expensive! Mario: Twenty-five dolla' make you holla'! Schafer: I could've done without that. Shirley: We couldn't have!
#1092
1010
⚐ ReportSchafer: That didn't sound good. Mario: You dropped a mirror. Schafer: Did it break? Mario: Yeah. Schafer: Seven more years bad luck! Shirley: Haven't you been teaching for seven years? [...] You just got yourself a renewal!
#1042
1111
⚐ ReportPham: You know [student]? He not doing any of the wuhk! Mr. Wolstein tell me that he not turning in the homewuhk. So Wolstein going and yelling at him. But also, I had him for the -- what you call? -- Chem R&E! He not doing the project at all! He just say, "this project stupid, I not doing it." Shirley: So did you tell him that he's stupid? Pham: No, why I doing that? Shirley: Because he insulted your project! Pham: No, but Wolstein yelling at him every day now.
#1041
99
⚐ Report//A teacher who bears a strong resemblance to Sarah Palin is in the lab //Jacob opens a picture of Palin and starts dong a side-by-side comparison Pham: What you doing? Shirley: Don't they look similar? Pham: Noooo, no. Hair is different. But she has the square face, you guys seeing that?
#1039
55
⚐ ReportHammond: The one who's blond or the one who's Latina? Shirley: Not blond. Hammond: Then the one with the Latina name. Jacob: As opposed to the blond name? Hammond: Stop being smart.
#947
33
⚐ ReportMr. Pham: How you spell Zbarsky? Jacob and Shirley (in perfect unison): Z-b, a-r, s-k, y. Jacob: We were perfectly together! Mr. Pham: You guy supposed to be brother! Shirley: Frick and Frack!