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Sept. 20, 2011, 6:24 p.m.

⚐ Report
Ittai: If you've had calculus, this is like breathing. If you haven't, this is like giving birth. And you're a man.

Talking about physics...




Sept. 12, 2011, 4:51 p.m.

⚐ Report
// Ittai runs in late to Study Hall after Pham takes attendance Ittai: Mr. Pham, I'm here. I was taking a piss. Pham: [shakes his head] // Sid and Ostrander walk in Ostrander: These two are tardy unexcused cause you know why? They were heading in the other direction with a girl. Students: Blown! // Ittai and Sid talk Ostrander: And now they're arguing over the girl.



April 11, 2011, 4:50 p.m.

⚐ Report
Schafer: So did any of you read your horoscope today? Ittai: Well, I DID read it one time and it said that I would find something good in an unusual place.  So I looked at my ass in the mirror.  But all I saw was crap!



March 7, 2011, 5:03 p.m.

⚐ Report
//during quantum Schafer: So all this matter can be expressed as waves!  But if I look over at Ittai, I don't see any waves! Danderson: *puts hands together, does wave motion*



March 1, 2011, 4:29 p.m.

⚐ Report
Schafer: We construct Puzzlepalooza teams based on your unique skills.  Elliot is great for stuff about crew.  Some of you are good for robotics.  And Ittai is great at distracting Walstein!



Feb. 25, 2011, 4:45 p.m.

⚐ Report
Teacher: So this guy that I was talking about was Jewish, but he didn't like that little "Shalom" I threw in, didn't call me a brother or anything. Ittai: I'm Jewish too!  That means I'm a part of the tribe. Teacher: I guess it does. //various students admit they're Jewish (some "half" but with jewish mothers) Teacher: The tribe's getting bigger these days...



Feb. 24, 2011, 10:59 p.m.

⚐ Report
//During jazz band, while explaining how to play the build up section of a chart into the solo section. Ms. Roberts: The point of these measures is to party. Ittai, you start the party. Class: *laughs* Ms. Roberts: Huh, yeah, THAT'S believable.



Feb. 18, 2011, 4:45 p.m.

⚐ Report
Teacher: Ittai, go sit down! //Ittai backs into the corner...and sits in the swivel chair Class: Sit on him! Teacher: Okay, go away! (gets him out of chair, tells a story) Ittai (has written stuff on the board in the meantime): So, are these lines parallel?  Well, if - Teacher: I took you down once, now I have to do it again?!?  If I do this time, you're not getting back up!



Jan. 4, 2011, 5:17 p.m.

⚐ Report
Roberts: Bang it out, Ittai! Bang it hard!



Dec. 17, 2010, 6:10 p.m.

⚐ Report
Teacher: So I'm having a little emergency, I'll be right back. *leaves room* //Students start laughing Ittai: Hey, I have a great idea! *pulls bag toward front of room* Okay, so I plug it in here...*pulls out a keyboard and amp* Oh, right, this outlet doesn't work, lemme fix that... //he finishes setting up and plays some notes Student: Keep playing, make it look like [Teacher]'s walking into a concert! Rafael: Sit in [teacher]'s chair! //music continues, teacher returns Teacher: Ah, music! *sits down* Ittai: Welcome back! *turns amp toward teacher, plays more music* Teacher: So do you know any Tchaikovsky?  Any Beatles? *lists more composers, to which Ittai responds with whatever music*  Well, what do you know? //people start to look in through window on the door Ittai (slow piano tune, speaking in a poetic voice with many breaks): So, [Teacher], here we are...We've known eachother for a long time...And we've had our moments...We've had our differences...I wrote this song, just for you...I hope you like it... //this goes on for a few minutes, and everyone applaudes (some standing ovation) when it ends Teacher: So now I have a poem and a song written for me! Ittai: Well, I um, know some more...*plays arbitrary music for the rest of the period*

EVERYONE was in tears from laughing during the slow song!