#2452

99

Oct. 29, 2010, 8 p.m.

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Whitacre: What did I want to be when I was a kid? I wanted to be a ninja and kill my parents. //He later admitted that he actually wanted to be an archeologist

#2451

77

Oct. 29, 2010, 7:59 p.m.

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Whitacre: You're not too fat, you're just a good eater!

#2448

2020

Oct. 29, 2010, 4:48 p.m.

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//discussing marriage Whitacre: In some societies, just sex is enough to do you in. Student: Wait, so if you have sex then you're married? Whitacre: Yeah, you know, it's like you break it, you bought it!

#2435

88

Oct. 28, 2010, 9:27 p.m.

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// A student inquires about the "subject" field on a ScanTron form Student: What's the subject of this test? Whitacre: It's your future. Student: Should we write that down? Whitacre: You don't have one!

#2397

1717

Oct. 21, 2010, 7:32 p.m.

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Theresa: I am so turned on by the idea of Whitacre with a taser I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep.

#2396

1313

Oct. 21, 2010, 7:11 p.m.

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Whitacre: When you're getting stabbed to death it doesn't matter what day it is.

#2374

1010

Oct. 19, 2010, 12:51 p.m.

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Whitacre: So think of someone you'd like to have sex with. Student: DUCKS! //laughter etc Whitacre: See that'd be the perfect job for you: a petting zoo!

#2353

1111

Oct. 13, 2010, 2:42 p.m.

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//A student walks in to Ms. Smrek's psychology class Student: Hey Ms. Smrek. Smrek: ...did you come in here just to say that? Student: Yup. Smrek: ...go back to class. Student: But I have Mr. Whitacre!! Smrek: HA! Too bad, go back to his class. Student (while walking out): You know, we were talking about how you and Mr. Whitacre should get married. You could have angry babies!

#2309

2830

Oct. 6, 2010, 10:49 p.m.

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Whitacre: Brighten up! It'll only get worse.

#2308

66

Oct. 6, 2010, 10:39 p.m.

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// Whitacre looks over a student's shoulder at her desk and sees a paper advertising "Help the Homeless..." Whitacre: Help the homeless?! Screw the homeless!!! In our culture that's another way of saying "useless", because if you don't have a home, your family kicked you out because you weren't any good. Student: But that's mean! Whitacre: Oh, if you ever become homeless, I'll treat you a little nice. *symbolically picks up his hand* I'll say, "Yeah, I remember this hand", not that you did any writing with it.