//chaotic bramble anthology, september 20 "I thought I had psychologically locked you into those [formerly assigned] seats, but it seems that you are freethinkers who are not bound by my conventions." "Acronyms are not real English; acronyms are made up by people and groups to confuse outsiders." "If you are one of the 1%-ers, you're doing pretty okay, as you have been for all of history." "If you died, it's pretty much a negative. Let's go on the record as having said that." "[Having the surname Miller in Britain would] be like if, in America, you had the surname 'Landlord'. 'Hi, I'm John Landlord.' 'Oh, ew, no, don't want to associate with that guy.'" "If you want people to think that you've read some 15th-century Italian literature, go get a copy of the Decameron. People will think it's so refined, but really, it's a cracking-good story." "Who here has heard of William Shakespeare?" "Oh, that Da Vinci. He lived by a certain code. ... [class unamused] I guess that book was from a while ago." "The Hundred Years' War. I believe it was actually 116 years, but hey, who's counting?" "In America, you may be familiar with a certain hand gesture, in which one extends the back of their hand, and extends the middle digit, and leaves the other fingers curled back. It is sometimes accompanied by a particular two-word epithet." "Sometimes, in history, I have no idea whether a story is a true or false, but doggonit, I like that story, and I'm gonna tell it." "I know the best way to pick volunteers ... pick the first person who is smiling!"
Burnell: What's more valuable, a spear tip, or a pot? Burnell: Pot, not pot.
Carlos: Now, I mean, he also told me that this, like, Muslim princess crime lord's daughter was his girlfriend so take this with a grain of salt-
// Discussion about Pascal's wager on the first day of the semester * Two girls talking loudly in the back* Mogge [to the girls]: You should pay attention, we're talking about gods. You're going to have to pray those grades up this semester
//Sudden, absolutely ungodly scream from Mogge Mogge: Mogge: Now we all have a google doc to write on!
//Mr. Hinkle discussing a test he needs to take to teach World History Mr. Hinkle: So I have to take a test about a class I've been teaching for 20 years! Haydn: So you know world history pretty well? Mr. Hinkle: Well I'd hope so... Haydn: Okay then when did the US sign the Declaration of Independence?? Mr. Hinkle: That's US history! Not world history! Haydn: What? Is the US not a part of the world?!
//Talking about a marriage Student: Would you recommend marriage Whitacre: If I like you, then no Whitacre: If I don't, I'd be like Oh Yeah! Give it a shot!
//Whitacre collecting packets about the Islamic Civilizations Student: Do you want this [packet]? Whitacre: Yeah, I give it to the homeless when they say they say they want something. I'm like here read about the Mughals. Another Student: That's terrible Whitacre: What? Passing on knowledge is terrible?
//pd 3 AP world Whitacre: Ussher said the Earth was created at 9:00AM, October 3rd, 4004 BC. Student: Dang! Whitacre: What? 9:00 too early? You want to get up at noon? See, this is why you can never be G-d!
//Beginning of second semester, new World History Class Whitacre: Any Moggie-ites in here? //Students who previously had Mogge raise their hands Whitacre: Any Ravil-ians //Students who previously had Ravilious raise their hands Student: What about us? *People who had Whitacre* Whitacre: Perfection