#5796

22

Feb. 8, 2016, 9:47 p.m.

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//Discussing the lack of FTC cake in Complex, Schwartz reminds us of the two rules of his classroom Mr. Schwartz' classroom rules: 1. Don't get me in trouble (don't mess up my room). 2. Don't die in my classroom.

#5784

-26

Feb. 5, 2016, 9:44 a.m.

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//During a Complex Analysis lecture Schwartz: "What did you learn today Jason?" Jason: "There are no different seahorses." //Class laughs

#5768

99

Feb. 2, 2016, 5:25 p.m.

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Schwartz: "This class [complex] is for students who wake up in the morning and think...math! Today's a good day because I have math!"

#5665

913

Nov. 25, 2015, 4:47 p.m.

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//Lin alg during bell problems //Schwartz is lecturing when the bell rings Schwartz: Thank you all, see you next class, and have a great Thanksgiving! //Arnold Mong leaves the room Schwartz: What no, come back //Arnold Mong returns //Lecture continues //Bell rings Schwartz: Hello everyone, welcome to class, today we'll be having a quiz and-- Announcement: Pardon the interruption, we are having some trouble with the bells this morning, obviously-- //Pause Schwartz: Is that all? Student: Obviously-- //Bell rings Announcement: Obviously if you hear the bell at any odd times, please ignore it unless it follows today's schedule. Today is a regular even day. Thank you.

#5664

44

Nov. 25, 2015, 3:32 p.m.

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Schwartz: Definite and indefinite integrals are totally unrelated. Just like flammable and inflammable mean the opposite things.

#5558

1313

Sept. 29, 2015, 10:10 p.m.

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//Last Thursday, Redskins vs. Giants Schafer: And the Redskins are going to lose tonight. Vishnu: There's still hope-- Schafer: No. No. Just no. Schwartz: Redskins? Is that...football? But doesn't football start in the winter?

#5545

22

Sept. 21, 2015, 3:22 p.m.

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//Doing an application problem to Econ Schwartz: How much of the Water company's output goes to Electricity? Student 1: .1! Student 2: .9! Student 3: .5! Schwartz: .5 is between .1 and .9...but it isn't even the arithmetic mean //Awkward pause Schwartz: (sarcastically) ...see, Econ majors worry about arithmetic. But math majors have BETTER things to think about

#5532

66

Sept. 10, 2015, 7:43 p.m.

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Schwartz: I write objectives on the board, like a *good* MCPS teacher!

#5481

1212

May 7, 2015, 3:30 p.m.

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//Talking about using Laplace vs. Eigen for solving systems of differential equations Schwartz: If you're not busy 6th, 8th or 9th, you can stop by to learn [Eigen methods for systems of diffeqs]. Mike: If you're not busy 6th, 8th, AND 9th, you can do it with Laplace.

#5477

1921

April 30, 2015, 11:01 p.m.

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//Two masses and two springs problem Schwartz: What shall be call the first mass? Student 1: Mass 1! Student 2: Bob! Schwartz: (Points to Students) Ok, Your mom! //students are laughing and confused Student: How did you hear "your mom?" Student 2: I said Bob Student 1: I said mass 1 Schwartz: Oh, I probably combined those two and got "Your mom" //We then named the other mass "Sid" //So the rest of the springs and masses discussion contained quotes like: Schwartz: What is the mass of your mom? ... Schwartz: So we've got Sid attached to a spring attached to your mom attached to the wall with a spring! ... Schwartz: In what direction is the force experienced by your mom? ... Schwartz: When Sid is going in the positive direction, your mom wants to pull Sid back! //And of course, after the discussion, when Schwartz is erasing: Schwartz: We don't need your mom anymore!